Venting I hate healthcare

[Fire&Ash]

For my whole life my autism/adhd has ruined my everything. My ability to learn simple things, to be normal with people, to be on track. I'm 29F and im probably the biggest loser I know of anywhere. I got off my appointment with my current psychiatrist and I asked her why I can't get prescribed Vyvanse because nothing else is working. My previous psychiatrist gave me Concerta, straterra, Ritalin and none of them were helping. He wouldn't give me Vyvanse either. I asked my current one why she won't give it to me. She said because I don't have an "official diagnoses" for adhd or autism. I could have sworn I did these tests years ago out of state. She said she didn't see any record of these tests. I did these tests with a psychologist and I discussed these symptoms with a previous psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with it. I just don't get it. I apparently have no record of these tests. And in this state, no place is taking Medicaid for the tests "neuropsychological testing" anywhere they threw away the waistlist that I was on for some reason last year. I feel so defeated. I feel like I lost every inch of my life to daydreaming, spacing out, dissociating, not understanding direction or reading or anything. I'm so stupid. I can barely cook or do laundry. I have to write steps out for everything cuz my memory is a black hole. I hate this. I hate myself. I hate that k still can't get better help. I'm just born stupid. I haven't worked in 2 years because why? So I can stay at another job that doesn't go anywhere? So I can waste years of being alone and broke? I can't do anything by myself. I'm literally dependent on others to things for me cuz "I don't get it" cuz that's how stupid I am. I thought before, in my early 20s I would finally get meds and I would be a different person and I would do better. Now I'm 29. And I'm no closer. I hate myself. I hate that after seeing all these ppl I'm not better at getting help. It's pointless

 

[derpyderpins]

Free Luigi

Official autism diagnosis for adults is such a pain and always expensive. It's so frustrating. They really don't care.

It's also a symptom of society at large and work culture. Like I would love to get all sorts of testing done, but when am I going to do it even if I can spare the money?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Mental health treatment as an autistic person is nothing but just one giant heartbreak.

 

[parasite_eve]

For my whole life my autism/adhd has ruined my everything. My ability to learn simple things, to be normal with people, to be on track. I'm 29F and im probably the biggest loser I know of anywhere. I got off my appointment with my current psychiatrist and I asked her why I can't get prescribed Vyvanse because nothing else is working. My previous psychiatrist gave me Concerta, straterra, Ritalin and none of them were helping. He wouldn't give me Vyvanse either. I asked my current one why she won't give it to me. She said because I don't have an "official diagnoses" for adhd or autism. I could have sworn I did these tests years ago out of state. She said she didn't see any record of these tests. I did these tests with a psychologist and I discussed these symptoms with a previous psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with it. I just don't get it. I apparently have no record of these tests. And in this state, no place is taking Medicaid for the tests "neuropsychological testing" anywhere they threw away the waistlist that I was on for some reason last year. I feel so defeated. I feel like I lost every inch of my life to daydreaming, spacing out, dissociating, not understanding direction or reading or anything. I'm so stupid. I can barely cook or do laundry. I have to write steps out for everything cuz my memory is a black hole. I hate this. I hate myself. I hate that k still can't get better help. I'm just born stupid. I haven't worked in 2 years because why? So I can stay at another job that doesn't go anywhere? So I can waste years of being alone and broke? I can't do anything by myself. I'm literally dependent on others to things for me cuz "I don't get it" cuz that's how stupid I am. I thought before, in my early 20s I would finally get meds and I would be a different person and I would do better. Now I'm 29. And I'm no closer. I hate myself. I hate that after seeing all these ppl I'm not better at getting help. It's pointless

I'm sorry, this system is a nightmare because it's for profit and because so much mental healthcare is carceral </3

For what it's worth, I don't think you're born stupid; I believe this society expects our brains (and bodies) to work certain ways and doesn't offer much support if we don't and struggle <3

Free Luigi

 

[Fire&Ash]

It really hurts. I feel like I'm fundamentally wrong inside. I can't hold a conversation with other or say the right things or anything's. I'm so alone. I'm a stranger in my own family. Just horrible. My parents let me stay with them, but I can tell they want me to get married and blah blah but I just don't belong.

 

[particularrodent]

same. as ive gotten older ive noticed my ability to learn is now nonexistent and my memory is terrible. ive never had to write down steps for things on a piece of paper like this before. no wonder suicide is a leading cause of death for autistic people. the fuck is goin on up there? yet healthcare doesnt care to learn or know. what's more important is covering shit like viagra because that's so medically necessary, right?

 

[divinemistress36]

same. as ive gotten older ive noticed my ability to learn is now nonexistent and my memory is terrible. ive never had to write down steps for things on a piece of paper like this before. no wonder suicide is a leading cause of death for autistic people. the fuck is goin on up there? yet healthcare doesnt care to learn or know. what's more important is covering shit like viagra because that's so medically necessary, right?

Yep sadly mens sexual performance are more important than mental health issues

 

[Autumn_Stars]

MS has attacked my brain. Hello fellow stupid person. I do things like put the air conditioner on with all the windows open. And how long to catch this mistake? I don't even want to admit it. I spent all day packing an overnight bag to get my infusion. I didn't make a list because how stupid can I be? I realized as I was leaving that I forgot my meds. When we got to the hotel room I realized I forgot something to sleep in. I had to go commando which I hate. I fell for an Internet scam and lost $600 dollars. My memory is nonexistent. If left alone I won't bathe or eat. I don't know what's MS bipolar or depression. If you believe there is something out there ask that I can go to Dignitas.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

And in this state, no place is taking Medicaid for the tests "neuropsychological testing"

It might be worthwhile to check for online mental health providers in nearby states, some may be licensed in mulitple states. There's a shortage of providers of all kinds, so it helps to cast a very wide net. I'm in Washington State, but my psychiatrist is located in a random small town in Southern Oregon that's like 8 hours away by car.

I don't have an official autism diagnosis either, and when I asked about getting one they said it's a lot of effort for little gain. Therapists have said I'm textbook asperger's, and they can sense it within minutes of meeting me. I wish I had been diagnosed when I was a young boy before I learned to mask. It was really obvious to everyone that something was different about me back then, but I was testing in the gifted range intellectually so they didn't bother digging into autism or ADHD. So I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until I was 24, and I didn't get recognized as autistic until I was 40. It sucks when you don't get the diagnosis early in life, because it's so much harder as an adult.

I could have sworn I did these tests years ago out of state. She said she didn't see any record of these tests. I did these tests with a psychologist and I discussed these symptoms with a previous psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with it. I just don't get it. I apparently have no record of these tests.

Could you contact your prior providers and have them send your records to your current one? I had to do this once to keep getting my ADHD meds.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

What state are you in? There are online portals now where you can find older medical records.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Fire&Ash]

It might be worthwhile to check for online mental health providers in nearby states, some may be licensed in mulitple states. There's a shortage of providers of all kinds, so it helps to cast a very wide net. I'm in Washington State, but my psychiatrist is located in a random small town in Southern Oregon that's like 8 hours away by car.

I don't have an official autism diagnosis either, and when I asked about getting one they said it's a lot of effort for little gain. Therapists have said I'm textbook asperger's, and they can sense it within minutes of meeting me. I wish I had been diagnosed when I was a young boy before I learned to mask. It was really obvious to everyone that something was different about me back then, but I was testing in the gifted range intellectually so they didn't bother digging into autism or ADHD. So I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until I was 24, and I didn't get recognized as autistic until I was 40. It sucks when you don't get the diagnosis early in life, because it's so much harder as an adult.


Could you contact your prior providers and have them send your records to your current one? I had to do this once to keep getting my ADHD meds.

Idk who did it's it was years ago. I don't know if they are even in business