lizardsoup
you’re coming back a duck or an ape
- Jan 30, 2020
- 16
ive made a promise to my boyfriend i wouldnt die before him, and my mom would most likely kill herself if i did. i would be ok with breaking the promise to my boyfriend, but he cant handle death well, and if i died that would devastate him. I want to say i dont care, because if it were anyone else i wouldnt. But i dont think he realises how close i am to the edge, ive picked the SN method and i have the funds in a savings account. I really want to buy the items i need because i feel like it could give me a small amount of comfort, but my bf is highly against that idea. Theres a whole bunch of stuff going on and i just switched therapists, so i have to fucking restart and explain so much again and i hate it. Ive tried talking to my mom but all she does is compare it to her problems and put me down for being sad, so now i feel like all of my problems are fucking insignificant and i cant be upset. i just dont want to be like this anymore and finally go over the edge, but i dont want to hurt anyone.