Venting I hate having a body

[shiny_quill]

I feel so silly for it, but my younger sister (19) asked if she could do my hair because my roots were getting really long and she was feeling like playing hairdresser, which she really likes to do for some reason, so I said yes. She asked if she could cut it and, since I had been wanting to go short(er) for a while, I said sure... I'm filled with regrets.

I don't even want to face the world anymore, I hate it, and even if I could try to fix the front, I can't do the back myself. I have a therapist appointment today and I don't even know how I'm supposed to go because of how ashamed I am of my hair, I hate it so much, it looks like Lord Farquad from Shrek, and I'd consider shaving it all off if it wasn't for the fact that I genuinely love the colour and really don't want to think we've wasted product for nothing, and my face genuinely disgusts me. It's bad normally, but I hide it behind my hair and call it a day.

Some people have a face only a mother can love, I have a face even a mother can't, I literally had plastic surgery (otoplasty) done as a minor because she kept telling me I looked bad and I should wear hats to hide my ears and needed to be ashamed, so I ended up having a bad ear complex and she suggested surgery after I came to her one too many time crying and asking why my ears were like that and why she couldn't love them —she proceeded to then find something else wrong with my face as soon as I recovered from the operation; I'm starting to think she might just be a mean old loveless lady, but my point stands. The person who is supposed to love me unconditionally can't even look at me without seeing all the flaws of my face, and my body isn't better, I hate it all, I just want to claw at my skin until it's all covered in red, and it looks closer to mush than the atrocity I have now.

I feel awful because I'm feeling this way over hair, it's so dumb, it will grow back but right now? I somehow look uglier from all the crying, and I can't even show pictures of the disaster because I'm terrified I'd get accused of compliment fishing. Every time I post my face, body, or hair explaining I hate it and why I do, I get accused of fishing for compliments, but every time I don't or (worse!) make the mistake of feeling good about my physical vessel, no one has anything remotely positive to say about it because there's no compliment to be made, simply.

TL;DR: I got a bad haircut and now I hate myself and my looks and feel shallow about it.

 

[aRose]

It's not really shallow, it's half your head! That's kinda a big deal when presenting yourself to the outside world. Hopefully you can fix it. A good hair stylist can do wonders.

I used to have a pixie cut or Mohawk all the time but the older I got the longer Ive grown my hair cuz I'm definitely hiding behind it now. Hair is a great tool to mask wrinkles and other stuff.

Everything about my face is kinda lopsided so it helps to mask that by parting my hair to hide the fact my eyebrows will just never really match lol

My grandmother always had bangs becuase of a birthmark.

It's a tool. Work with that you got!

My mother was also a bitch about my looks. There's many mornings I'd wake up with a pimple or puffy lips and her first words to me before breakfast was "ugh what's wrong with your face?" All Mean Girl like. Some women never mature and do it to make themselves feel better I think.
One time my mom said something rude to me about my face and I just owned it and never looked back - told her my face is smooshed cuz I was obviously "ten ponds of shit crammed into a five pound bag, ya shitbag!"

 

[Dejected 55]

I've posted before about how... when I was a teen and thought I was too ugly for a girl to like me... I expressed that to my mother, and her response was simply, "I dated ugly men sometimes."

So... yeah... even when you want honesty and don't want people to lie... you'd think a parent who claims to love you would try at least a little bit to soften the blow.