Venting I hate christmas

[chudeatte]

ive never not hated it. every year I dread the day and I just stay in my room away from everyone. even though my mother gets me gifts, I never go down to open them when everyone else does. I just dont care. I dont even open them in front of others because I cant fake being happy for any of it, I cant be expected to perform for her and then have her get mad at me when I dont seem grateful. it makes my mood so much worse. it's not that im ungrateful but idk how I feel. when I see these things that are bought for me I feel so terrible inside, like why would you all get these things for me when its not worth it. im going to kill myself anyway, please just save your money and use it towards yourself or something. its such a waste in my eyes I feel so bad. like ill look around my room and see all the things that I own or they've gotten me and I feel so bad they've put their money towards these things that im just going to leave behind. every year I stay in my room and I spend the day crying in bed, feeling more depressed than ever before wishing I was dead. its the same with my birthday too which is only a month after. I just feel terrible. the new year coming up doesnt help either. it feels like a deadline because with each day im coming closer to that decision ill have to make where ill finally die. it just all sucks. I think im going to spend the day drinking alone in my room even if drinking makes me worse. I dont care anymore

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel this too. Xmas gives me stress because there is too much lights, it's cole outside, I'm very tired in winter and I don't like gifts. I loved Xmas when I was a kid but I was a kid and I was just waiting for my Lego and other gifts... Now it's too much about money and the real sense of Xmas is gone. I think it will be my last Xmas so I'll say goodbye to everyone and it's heartbreaking but I cannot handle it anymore.
You're definitively not alone. Good luck to all of us who don't like Xmas.

 

[Ligottian]

Speaking for myself...When you are 65 and all alone, Christmas is just another day.