Venting I hate being weak and not having ambitions and capabilities

[Painless_end]

Two things I lack at the most basic brain chemistry level that I've observed others have:

1. A big goal that can be pursued for one's entire life to find happiness, wealth, meaning and growth. Also other things like relationship etc

2. The capacity to be smart, decisive, and capable of handling bigger as well as smaller issues of life without being completely detached, bored, and wanting to run away.

Alas, these 2 form the basic stem or core branch of my brain, and I cannot wish them away.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

i feel this very deeply. the world is not made for us. or maybe we werent made for the world.