Venting I hate being trapped in existence

[ijustwishtodie]

And I'm sure I'm not the only one here who feels the same way. It's actually just so sadistic at how I'm trapped in existence all because of how pro lifers are all about "muh suffering". It actually pisses me off and it's why I call pro lifers as people who are pro suffering as, lets be honest, that's all they really are. If they weren't pro suffering, they wouldn't advocate about being resilient and pushing through challenges no matter what and all of that pro life bullshit. There's a reason why the government targets the peaceful methods and restricts the peaceful methods as they want wage slaves and people who can listen to their every bidding. It pisses me off so much.

I bet that if nembutal was needed as a way to gain lots of profit in the capitalistic system, you would see it everywhere. But since nembutal allows a peaceful way out of here, the government can't allow that. These sadistic and evil fucks actually hope that, by restricting the peaceful methods, you'd live out of fear of attempting the harmful methods. Humanity really is sadistic and nobody can convince me otherwise. Those bastards also say that "if you really want to kill yourself, you'll find a way to do it" and, honestly, just typing that out here made me so furious to where I wanted to punch my screen.

I am trapped in existence and I cried a few times today over it. I hate being trapped and I want to be free but I can't be free because I'm in a sadistic society that only cares about prolonging life for as long as possible. I don't even have any temporary comforts to help me get through this so I'm just perpetually suffering in pain and agony. I need somebody or something to kill me, please. I'm too scared to go through a horrific suicide method and I wish this world could be kinder to people like me. I'm being punished despite not doing anything wrong to begin with. I'm scared of suffering and I don't want to suffer

I honestly hope that my words manages to reach a murderer and they end my life quickly but, no, that won't happen because why would anything good happen in this cruel society?? I'm scared of life and I hate being trapped

 

[wildflowers1996]

I feel for you and also feel the exact same way, apart from I think maybe some people genuinely think they're helping people by forcing them to live, bc of religious views
I'm sorry you're suffering so much and wish I could actually do something to help rather than just saying that

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I feel for you and also feel the exact same way, apart from I think maybe some people genuinely think they're helping people by forcing them to live, bc of religious views
I'm sorry you're suffering so much and wish I could actually do something to help rather than just saying that

They may think that they're helping people but they're actually causing more harm than good as me and others here are suffering extremely due to these people keeping us alive against our consent. Fuck their religious views, it caused more harm than good. The only way I could be helped is if somebody had the power to teleport nembutal to my hands and is merciful enough to do that for me

 

[Hunterer]

Yeah, I get it. Life sucks for a lot of reasons and most of the time I would like to disappear, but unfortunately that's not how things work. Unfortunately, we are forced to come into this world, go through several horrible situations that make us feel bad physically or psychologically, and even when we are visibly shaken, suffering for whatever reason, people simply ignore you and make you look guilty for thinking about wanting to die, call you selfish, make up things to try to make you change your mind, hospitalize you, put you under the influence of medication, and so on. No matter what situation you are in, you simply cannot die and society condemns you if you try to escape the system, and they do everything they can to keep you locked up until you die naturally or due to some other factor other than ctb.

I'm too scared to go through a horrific suicide method

I'm like that too. I really want to leave this world, but I don't have access to methods like SN and N at the moment, so I've been thinking about jumping, but the SI would be too big, and the feeling of drowning would be agonizing, although I've read reports of people who describe it as a feeling of peace, while others describe it as something scary. Well, I can't give an opinion because I've never drowned, and I don't even know how to swim. If I don't have access to any effective method, I'll have to risk jumping under the influence of some medication. If society didn't condemn the act of ctb so much, this could be different and we could all die peacefully instead.

Sorry for the long text btw:/

 

[Forever Sleep]

I bet that if nembutal was needed as a way to gain lots of profit in the capitalistic system, you would see it everywhere.

That's an interesting idea isn't it?... I don't know why it surprised me that some accountant has worked out the monetry loss from suicides but (of course,) they have. Apparently, it's £1.46 million per person in the UK:

The economic cost of suicide

Our report on the cost of suicide in the UK shows the need for Government investment in suicide prevention.

www.samaritans.org

Honestly though- I don't actually think they'd make nembutal available for that amount or, any other. I still think you'd have relatives and loved ones protesting it. Not that many people could afford that anyway but, I don't think it's just economic reasons that stops it. I think it's also that popular opinion would likely be against it.

God, I can imagine it though- if they legalise assisted suicide and for a wider spectrum of people- can't you just imagine them charging higher death duties in tax if it was suicide? Bastards.

 

[sevennn]

btw you are not wrong about "if nembutal was profitable" because many companies knew asbestos was harmful and deadly. but because it was profitable for them to add it everywhere (even in cigarettes) they did. they didn't even say a thing to a whole village in australia (i think) that worked with the most dangerous asbestos there is (i think it's called blue asbestos) result = almost all of them died. every family lost its members. they don't care. the government. all those companies. i'm sure they weighed it down like "some people are gonna die, but only some. and the profits are gonna go up! so let's keep going" so they did. if it's profitable to kill or allow deaths… then great. but us choosing to die isn't profitable. doesn't increase any profits. it's not about saving our lives because.. of morals. haha. and i empathise with your suffering. hugs

That's an interesting idea isn't it?... I don't know why it surprised me that some accountant has worked out the monetry loss from suicides but (of course,) they have. Apparently, it's £1.46 million per person in the UK:

The economic cost of suicide

Our report on the cost of suicide in the UK shows the need for Government investment in suicide prevention.

www.samaritans.org

Honestly though- I don't actually think they'd make nembutal available for that amount or, any other. I still think you'd have relatives and loved ones protesting it. Not that many people could afford that anyway but, I don't think it's just economic reasons that stops it. I think it's also that popular opinion would likely be against it.

God, I can imagine it though- if they legalise assisted suicide and for a wider spectrum of people- can't you just imagine them charging higher death duties in tax if it was suicide? Bastards.

wow that article is so gross. has "no don't kill yourself you'll cost so much to the economy!" ever helped anybody. so gross to talk about the value of human life in such numbers.

 

[depthss]

i feel very strongly for you, im in the same position. every day is miserable to get through. i hope youre able to find a peaceful method soon