Help I Hate Being So Aware of Things

[DeIetedUser4739]

It's probably the worst thing about this depression, I never realized how stupid life actually is, how random things are and that the odds are stacked against us.

The worst part is there's nothing I can do about it now that I know. Unless I can somehow erase my memory, living life now feels like a really difficult task.

Sleeping is the only thing to alleviate this however i can't sleep forever, so death becomes the only logical answer which I'm too afraid of at the moment.

I just wish there was something else, like an actual Religion that wasn't made up, based on karma or something would have been ideal as the point of life.

Do good things get rewarded, do bad things get punished, too bad we live in this insane and unfair world.

 

[iloverachel]

I understand. My life has always been awful. But id say the past 8 years, i started to think more and become more aware of how bad life really is. Prior to that life was the same but I guess I wasn't aware of how bad life was nor did it cross my mind much. I wish I could reset my brain or something or wipe out a part of it and be unaware

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

I understand. My life has always been awful. But id say the past 8 years, i started to think more and become more aware of how bad life really is. Prior to that life was the same but I guess I wasn't aware of how bad life was nor did it cross my mind much. I wish I could reset my brain or something or wipe out a part of it and be unaware

Damn, sorry to hear. Did you get used to it eventually?

I still think all the time how much I miss being the way I was before this.

 

[iloverachel]

Damn, sorry to hear. Did you get used to it eventually?

I still think all the time how much I miss being the way I was before this.

Nah i never got used to it. every day still sucks and is unbearable unfortunately

 

[crystal_meth97]

Being too aware of everything and of myself has become the bane of my existence. It sucks. And it's not like I can turn it off, I can't unsee what I saw or forget what I've realized. Everything is so random, we're living in uncertainty and confusion and I'm trying to make sense of things but it's in vain. So I just focus on my microcosmos and try to ignore the rest as best as I can.

 

[Username1359751]

It's probably the worst thing about this depression, I never realized how stupid life actually is, how random things are and that the odds are stacked against us.

The worst part is there's nothing I can do about it now that I know. Unless I can somehow erase my memory, living life now feels like a really difficult task.

Sleeping is the only thing to alleviate this however i can't sleep forever, so death becomes the only logical answer which I'm too afraid of at the moment.

I just wish there was something else, like an actual Religion that wasn't made up, based on karma or something would have been ideal as the point of life.

Do good things get rewarded, do bad things get punished, too bad we live in this insane and unfair world.

Ignorance literally is bliss

 

[FuneralCry]

Being conscious and aware truly is so undesirable and torturous to me, I'd never choose to exist in this hellish world no matter what, it must be tiring what you are going through but anyway best wishes.