IDKWhatToNameMeself
Member
- May 19, 2024
- 5
I just wanted to share, years ago I had this dream where there was this playground where everyone was a child including me and it was really nice and fun and I think it sort of goes to the fact that I often fantasize and honestly wish I could just be a little child again but I was just there and then this train arrived and the sort of care taker there helped every other child get on it and she came to ask me if I wanted to get on it too but I knew or just felt that if I got on that train I would never come back again sort of like it was like a train to the afterlife or something but at that time I wasn't really suicidal but still the thought of dying was just really kind of comforting even though I didn't really want to at that time but after thinking I didn't get on it because I didn't want to leave just like that without even saying goodbye to my parents but I told her to come back later and to wait for me. I don't know if it's just wishful thinking but I think if I'd had gotten on that train I might've actually died. All this time later and she has yet to come back for me, and I don't think she ever will. Nowadays I just really wish I'd had gotten on that train when I had the chance. It's such an easy way to die too, no pain, just dying so easily and peacefully in a dream, cause I'm kinda scared of pain so I just can't get myself to actually go through with it. Though maybe I just watched the whole plot of my dream in a movie or something and don't remember and then dreamt about it cause my dreams sometimes do that, maybe I'm overthinking it. That's all I wanted to say I think, I just wanted to share, thank you for reading this 
