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SuicidalCurryBoy

Student
Aug 22, 2020
140
I've been in love with her since the moment I saw her.

She came into my life when I was in a difficult place, and I latched onto her.

She was, the first 'real' girl in my life.

But she didn't like me. And for years, I thought it was because of something I did. Or something that happened. And that she did like me, in some capacity.

I kept asking my friend to psychoanalyse the way she rejected me. He would say it's unethical, or say that he won't use his skills for free.

But he finally gave in...

It's been almost 9 years, fellas.

He said she never liked me, and there wasn't a darn thing on earth I could've done to change that...

In some ways, it feels relieving... like, yeah, fuck her. But in other ways, I'm like I'm even sad than I ever was. And I low key hate her. Like, "HOW DARE SHE THINK SHE'S TOO GOOD FOR ME!"

Like, I'm legit angry... But also not...

All I know is, the day I met her was the only time in my life I was actually happy. It was the only time I felt relief. When all the voices stopped. The world became quiet. And made sense for once.

And when she turned me down, the darkness started creeping back in...

And now it's back... 100%

I hate her and love her.

Fuck this shit...
 
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R

rs929

Warlock
Dec 18, 2020
773
Do you go out and meet other girls regularly? At least have a brief interaction with them? It sounds to me that you're all the time at home or something. There are plenty of fish in the sea. She's not unique as you mind seems to make you believe .
 
S

SuicidalCurryBoy

Student
Aug 22, 2020
140
Do you go out and meet other girls regularly? At least have a brief interaction with them? It sounds to me that you're all the time at home or something. There are plenty of fish in the sea. She's not unique as you mind seems to make you believe .
I did meet some girls.
But I never had that same spark.

My crush and I had the same interests and sense of humour and so on. But she was physically repulsed by me. We were taking selfies, and she fixxed my hair. I took some pictures as she was fixxing it, and she instantly had a gut reaction, where she tried to hide her face or something. Like she didn't want to been seen in any context that would even remotely imply we're dating. And like I said... I hate her for that...
 
slowlydying2mrrw

slowlydying2mrrw

Queen Bitch of the Universe
Apr 17, 2024
86
It's OK to feel that way. If she never liked you, she was never yours to begin with and you can have peace in knowing there is better people out there.
 
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39hatsune

39hatsune

seal connoisseur!
Dec 9, 2025
105
i agree with slowlydying2mrrw, you can find your person

i also personally dont believe in 'right person, wrong time', if it was the right person, it'd also be the right time

you wont always feel this way and you can and will get over her! we all believe in you :)

hoping you feel better soon đź’—
 
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