NightmareTour
Specialist
- May 13, 2020
- 398
I've had a lot of moments where I realise that I can't really blame my health for everything. A lot of the reason that my life is shitty is my own fault.
This morning was one of those moments. My parents were watching the news, and there was a story about someone who had almost exactly the same disease I had, except she was a lot younger at the time. She lost an arm and a leg, and became a paralympic athlete. I'm constantly surrounded by stories of people who had horrible illnesses or accidents or were born disabled, and made something great of themselves. Yet here I am, with a fraction of the problems they have, and I haven't even achieved the bare minimum of what's expected of someone my age. I just sit here and rely on my family to look after me, feeling sorry for myself and waiting to die.
I don't get it, why are they able to do great things and I can hardly function? Am I just weaker than they are? It's not like they're not in as much pain, or struggling as much, or have it easier in any way. So why are they able to find success through the thing that makes me want to die? What the fuck is wrong with me?
This morning was one of those moments. My parents were watching the news, and there was a story about someone who had almost exactly the same disease I had, except she was a lot younger at the time. She lost an arm and a leg, and became a paralympic athlete. I'm constantly surrounded by stories of people who had horrible illnesses or accidents or were born disabled, and made something great of themselves. Yet here I am, with a fraction of the problems they have, and I haven't even achieved the bare minimum of what's expected of someone my age. I just sit here and rely on my family to look after me, feeling sorry for myself and waiting to die.
I don't get it, why are they able to do great things and I can hardly function? Am I just weaker than they are? It's not like they're not in as much pain, or struggling as much, or have it easier in any way. So why are they able to find success through the thing that makes me want to die? What the fuck is wrong with me?