Story I got sick from finasteride. Trying to cure myself made me sicker. The one person who understood has distanced herself from me. I'm so tired

[finasteride_end]

I have permanent erectile dysfunction from taking finasteride to try and prevent hair loss. Taking viagra and cialis to treat it has left me with deafeningly loud tinnitus from which I can never escape and for which there is no prospect of treatment

I met a woman recently. She has severe sexual dysfunction from taking antidepressants, she was even suicidal herself at one point. I thought I had finally found someone who understood me. She said we were destined to meet one another, that she felt a connection with me that she had never felt with the men she had slept with before antidepressants stole her sexuality. But when I expressed how I was feeling around her, she became cold and distant. And she's even overcome the depression she felt about her own condition. She doesn't need me any more, if she ever did in the first place. After talking to me daily the first month we met, she now takes a week to respond to even short texts and says very little. I never thought she of all people would abandon me

I am 34 years old. I will never be able to experience a full erection again. I will never again be able to enjoy simple silence again without this screaming hissing in my ears. I am a virgin who never had the chance to experience sexual fulfillment with a functioning penis. Everything I do to try to heal from post-finasteride syndrome has made me worse in some irreversible way. Worst of all, I can't tell the truth to any of my friends. I recorded a suicide note in my car at work the other day. Everyone's going to be so angry at me. The one woman for whom my erectile dysfunction wouldn't have been a problem doesn't want a relationship with me, she doesn't even really want to be friends with me

That's it. Those are the burdens that are breaking me. I am buckling beneath their load. I can't tell anyone the truth about what's happened to me or how I'm feeling. I wonder what everyone will think of my final suicide note. I'm terrified of taking my final steps into the darkness alone

 

[idiotmother]

I'm so sorry for your suffering and pain!! Big Pharma is a demonic operation and they ruined so many lives, harvested so much death from the effects of their poisons. I'm a victim of them too, I just want to die.

I hope that your issues can resolve in time, but I also understand the suicidality. Sometimes there is no cure to med damage and people have a hard time believing that. I'm sorry that the one woman you felt could understsnd you has gone cold. That must hurt immensely. Why is this world so cruel? It's a punishment to suffer here like this.

I also have tinnitus from meds, but not as bad as you. It's rotten ;(

 

[finasteride_end]

A hearty thanks to you, idiotmother, and lunar02102009, for acknowledging me. If you two are on this forum like me then you must be feeling pretty desperate yourselves. I deeply appreciate that you find space for my suffering as well as your own

I'm finding it incredibly hard to forgive myself for taking finasteride in the first place, but much harder to forgive myself for the cialis. Low dose daily cialis has helped many post-finasteride syndrome sufferers recover full erection strength and I hoped it would do that for me too. I should have known better, I always get the rare, permanent side effects from anything I take. I hate how clueless doctors are about drug related injuries

That woman wanted a very close friendship with me, but I got attached too quickly, and stupidly told her so. I thought maybe we could still be friends in a more casual way, but now I'm reeling from the sudden loss of closeness and emotional intimacy. I should have said nothing and accepted my place in the friend zone with her. I need someone to cling to so I don't give in to my despair, I had that someone and lost her. It's entirely my own fault

I'm scared. I wanted to live the rest of my life. I wanted to be happy. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted hope. I'm not ready to die