Venting I got dumped by assisted death organization

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

I decided I want to quit it... But that doesn't cares... Besides my physical ailments i am completely trapped in what to do next, because everything I want is to be allowed to end this and I have to change completely and lie and then I am the problem, although I just want an end and not be forced to go to doctors anymore but cant take these pains anymore either... I tried longer than I wanted and everything got worse... I don't know why the people on this earth are so cruel.... Why am i forced to explain my whole trauma and situation to be allowed to leave and not even get the help i need to end my life... I was crying for help as much as I could and didnt got it back then from the medical system... Now its even more fucked up... And I know medicine and its limit and been told by doctors... I wish for a death angel to come and took me by the hand and get everything i need for me to be able to leave... I wanted to leave with gas, because my metabolism is weird... But it looks like it will be sn... And then i get dumped by people who say they will help but then aren't able too... I did not deserve this :(
I wanted to move, but know i am trapped in this stupid flat with my abusive environment because im too sick.. I am sorry that i was not able to do things that were required...
My thoughts are cut.
I start a thousand threads and do not post because i fear to be "thrown out" or be left alone.. So many stories that completely left me in a frozen state... The doctors when they understand my situation knoe they cant help... My therapy ends this Friday, he didn't want to continue because he cant help me... I have no resources to continue... Just some invasive medical procedures to help with my back pain (over 6months some. Infiltration and if that helps, surgeries) although i don't believe in this anymore and that does not help with the other issue with konsequences after an accident where i was told they cant help i need to find a university clinic and a good doctor who like to do that... Its impossible.... I experienced my own situation for 2 years... I cant and don't Want anymore. Why is that not an acceptable solution? Just because i am young? I dont even have a lot people that I would hurt... I have no kids, no animals... The suffering would be less than my suffering in comparison... Everything i need to do to get better stands in the way of my wish to end it. I would need a pet, i would need to move, i would need to get healthy as far as to be able to get a job and family (have no partner) and kids... Because thats the only thing i can think of that could have give me any kind of purpose.... But i can't... I would like to spare resources... The world is fucked up anyway..
Its not even that all these people are. Mean, but they can't empathize until they understand and then they are put in a situation where they feel to be in an illegal murder area although its a constitutional right to decide over ones own life in my country...

If this is the case we would need a list of doctors or pharmacies, a list of jumping places... And if you really do care that much about these souls... Save them with other ways.. Offer flats, money, mentor or adopt people IF they want ... But this is just bs

 

[FuneralCry]

That is just so cruel, it's such a horrible world we exist in where people are denied a peaceful way to cease existing on their own terms. It disgusts me how suicide isn't seen as a valid option to permanently escape from suffering.

 

[baabbaabbaab]

We are all alone with our pain and our little suicide plan. Sometimes I dream we can all gather and rush Pegasos... or simply march to show how numerous we are. But if marching was useful, we'd know

 

[WearyWanderer]

I hope it's okay to ask this but are you saying Pegasos rejected you because of your age even though you deal with incurable back pain because you are too young?

I thought they actually helped but I saw another post where someone emailed and claimed to be in their 40s with medical issues and were told they are too young, too and now I don't know what to think or if the even truly care about intractable pain.

I am so sorry you're going through this torture

I can relate to counseling that never accomplishes anything and doctors only recommending invasive useless medical procedures that in fact often worsen the issue.

Like the second poster said, I wish both Pegasos and the world could see how many of us deserve peace and that it's literally our only choice.