synthcadia
dissociated angel.
- Jul 8, 2023
- 228
thought about ctbing. i'm tired.
i'm spiraling due to this one person, as they are my trigger.
i am tired of living, just i am.
i am tired of living in this prison.
i'm tired of being myself.
i may just dissociate, idk.
but i think i'm just going to shut down emotionally, idk. i stop caring.
i care if my friends die, but i wonder if they care the same amount. i know some do, but i feel like i care so much that it will kill me. and i can't just not care about them.
i need therapy. i know it. i just need to make my schedule first and everything. it's a wip.
i'm just going to focus on my hygiene, physical health, friends, my weight, and streaming stuff. and lsat stuff too.
i hope i die soon, though sometimes i hope i don't. i think i wish i knew how much people cared about me, genuinely. and i hope it would be reciprocated the same way.
fuck me being born into this life with this personality. i'm too nice. i hate that i'd die to save someone if i could.
i'm spiraling due to this one person, as they are my trigger.
i am tired of living, just i am.
i am tired of living in this prison.
i'm tired of being myself.
i may just dissociate, idk.
but i think i'm just going to shut down emotionally, idk. i stop caring.
i care if my friends die, but i wonder if they care the same amount. i know some do, but i feel like i care so much that it will kill me. and i can't just not care about them.
i need therapy. i know it. i just need to make my schedule first and everything. it's a wip.
i'm just going to focus on my hygiene, physical health, friends, my weight, and streaming stuff. and lsat stuff too.
i hope i die soon, though sometimes i hope i don't. i think i wish i knew how much people cared about me, genuinely. and i hope it would be reciprocated the same way.
fuck me being born into this life with this personality. i'm too nice. i hate that i'd die to save someone if i could.