Venting I gave up an amazing opportunity.

[兎の耳]

I gave up a job making close to four times what I was making at my previous job.

People keep telling me it's not my fault because there were unforseen circumstances. Deep down, I feel like I sabotaged myself out of the fear that moving a thousand miles and out of my current horrible situation wouldn't actually make me happy. I've already quit my old job to prepare for the move. I'm unemployed and have no prospects.

There's no point to this, just that I hate myself so much right now. I can't even cry anymore.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

If by "unforeseen circumstances" you mean something that is out of your control then you should not blame yourself. Besides this: moving away from wherever you currently live is daunting for many people, it does not matter the distance - long or short, so please do not feel bad about this. You have said that you are in a horrible situation right now; does this situation relate to the job(s) that you have had? Do you mean that you are trying to escape from a poisonous workplace?

 

[兎の耳]

If by "unforeseen circumstances" you mean something that is out of your control then you should not blame yourself. Besides this: moving away from wherever you currently live is daunting for many people, it does not matter the distance - long or short, so please do not feel bad about this. You have said that you are in a horrible situation right now; does this situation relate to the job(s) that you have had? Do you mean that you are trying to escape from a poisonous workplace?

There were circumstances beyond my control. I still feel bad about it.

By horrible situation, I mean a toxic home life. My old job didn't pay enough to live on my own so I was forced to live with my family who are controlling and don't support me being trans. This job would have paid enough by far to live comfortably in the location I'd have been moving to.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

There were circumstances beyond my control. I still feel bad about it.

By horrible situation, I mean a toxic home life. My old job didn't pay enough to live on my own so I was forced to live with my family who are controlling and don't support me being trans. This job would have paid enough by far to live comfortably in the location I'd have been moving to.

So you feel trapped with people who you do not want to be around? This is relatable. Are there any other jobs available that pay even slightly more than your previous job? I want to offer advice, I really do, but I am not sure what to suggest? You are in a tough situation right now.

 

[兎の耳]

So you feel trapped with people who you do not want to be around? This is relatable. Are there any other jobs available that pay even slightly more than your previous job? I want to offer advice, I really do, but I am not sure what to suggest? You are in a tough situation right now.

I have a skill that is in demand, so I am hopeful I can find another job soon. Mostly I'm just frustrated that this opportunity didn't work for me and angry at myself. Plus I'm suicidal, so I wonder sometimes what the point of even moving forward is anyway.

I appreciate your concern, though. It means a lot.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I have a skill that is in demand, so I am hopeful I can find another job soon. Mostly I'm just frustrated that this opportunity didn't work for me and angry at myself. Plus I'm suicidal, so I wonder sometimes what the point of even moving forward is anyway.

I appreciate your concern, though. It means a lot.

Do your suicidal thoughts have anything to do with your toxic family, or are they separate?

 

[tiger b]

That sucks. Having a skill in demand augers well for the future, so hopefully you get what you're seeking eventually...best wishes

 

[兎の耳]

Do your suicidal thoughts have anything to do with your toxic family, or are they separate?

They do have a lot to do with that. My family makes me feel worthless. They control everything about me from how I dress to what I eat. I'm well into adulthood but they treat me. Like a stupid child. I feel trapped.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

They do have a lot to do with that. My family makes me feel worthless. They control everything about me from how I dress to what I eat. I'm well into adulthood but they treat me. Like a stupid child. I feel trapped.

Feeling trapped is awful. Do you think that if you found a job relating to your in-demand skills, that would enable you to move away, it would give you a reason to move forward?

 

[兎の耳]

Update: The manager at my new job called me today and told me she'd wait as long as I needed because she really wants me in the position. I'll probably be moving in March now.

I am absolutely baffled. I can't imagine why anyone wants me for anything.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Update: The manager at my new job called me today and told me she'd wait as long as I needed because she really wants me in the position. I'll probably be moving in March now.

I am absolutely baffled. I can't imagine why anyone wants me for anything.

Hey, I'm glad you found a job and you deserve to get that job! You can do it! Good luck!

 

[Kasumi]

Update: The manager at my new job called me today and told me she'd wait as long as I needed because she really wants me in the position. I'll probably be moving in March now.

I am absolutely baffled. I can't imagine why anyone wants me for anything.

That's awesome
Incidentally I'll be moving in march as well and while it's not for a job for me it'll also get me into a better environment, away from a family that has ruined my life so far.