Venting I fucking hate myself

[CFLoser]

I hate how I look, I hate how I feel, I hate how my body is so weak, I hate how I'm so impulsive, I hate how I'm a terrible friend and person.

I really hate how I'm so mean spirited. For so long I assumed being a bad person worked into itself, like a snake eating its own tail or something.

A person is born bad, ugly, stupid, whatever, and that leads to them having a bad life they hate. They become a bad person because they were born bad, so they deserve how they turned out.

It's just stupid. I have to accept that personally I am just bad on the inside. It's not some kind of rule or pattern, it's just who I've become; a shitty person.

 

[azucaramargo]

What's happening, CFL?

 

[Mort]

I hate how I look, I hate how I feel, I hate how my body is so weak, I hate how I'm so impulsive, I hate how I'm a terrible friend and person.

I really hate how I'm so mean spirited. For so long I assumed being a bad person worked into itself, like a snake eating its own tail or something.

A person is born bad, ugly, stupid, whatever, and that leads to them having a bad life they hate. They become a bad person because they were born bad, so they deserve how they turned out.

It's just stupid. I have to accept that personally I am just bad on the inside. It's not some kind of rule or pattern, it's just who I've become; a shitty person.

I know that feeling to well my self i just piss my life away . Miss all those ones in a life time events buy letting work take over my life . If i was not working i just sit down in front of the telly stuffing my face with food and beer and popping pills over the counter pills nothing illegal. Painkillers mostly onley way i could relax and forget about work . Then 20 years of work given them my hole life to them one day had me in the office and told me they makeing me redundant just like that . Then it hit me how much I wasted my life working had nothing to show for it except nacked nees back elbows well most of my joints dont work rite now . Now im my middle 40s and trying to find work its a joke no one wants a middle age man with health problems. I just wasted my life and I am the only one to blame for it could of done so much better but took the easy way out. I dont deserve this life wish could give it to sum one else to make better use of it . Got one sole going cheap few miles on the clock need a good service new shocks needed to ;) LOL . Just hate my self so bad cant even look in a mirror cant stand what looks back . A sad sack of steaming shit a disappointment to every one around me . Well sado here call it a day for now tata

 

[azucaramargo]

I hate how I look, I hate how I feel, I hate how my body is so weak, I hate how I'm so impulsive, I hate how I'm a terrible friend and person.

I really hate how I'm so mean spirited. For so long I assumed being a bad person worked into itself, like a snake eating its own tail or something.

A person is born bad, ugly, stupid, whatever, and that leads to them having a bad life they hate. They become a bad person because they were born bad, so they deserve how they turned out.

It's just stupid. I have to accept that personally I am just bad on the inside. It's not some kind of rule or pattern, it's just who I've become; a shitty person.

CFL I'm sorry you are in such agony. It sounds like you really could use some medication; you sound like me before anti-depressants. Is there any way you can consult a doctor? There's no need for you to feel this way.

I know that feeling to well my self i just piss my life away . Miss all those ones in a life time events buy letting work take over my life . If i was not working i just sit down in front of the telly stuffing my face with food and beer and popping pills over the counter pills nothing illegal. Painkillers mostly onley way i could relax and forget about work . Then 20 years of work given them my hole life to them one day had me in the office and told me they makeing me redundant just like that . Then it hit me how much I wasted my life working had nothing to show for it except nacked nees back elbows well most of my joints dont work rite now . Now im my middle 40s and trying to find work its a joke no one wants a middle age man with health problems. I just wasted my life and I am the only one to blame for it could of done so much better but took the easy way out. I dont deserve this life wish could give it to sum one else to make better use of it . Got one sole going cheap few miles on the clock need a good service new shocks needed to ;) LOL . Just hate my self so bad cant even look in a mirror cant stand what looks back . A sad sack of steaming shit a disappointment to every one around me . Well sado here call it a day for now tata

Mort, we will find a way around this roadblock. You will enjoy this new chapter in your life, and you can't let the bastards get you down. You are good and strong and beautiful.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I hate how I look, I hate how I feel, I hate how my body is so weak, I hate how I'm so impulsive, I hate how I'm a terrible friend and person.

I really hate how I'm so mean spirited. For so long I assumed being a bad person worked into itself, like a snake eating its own tail or something.

A person is born bad, ugly, stupid, whatever, and that leads to them having a bad life they hate. They become a bad person because they were born bad, so they deserve how they turned out.

It's just stupid. I have to accept that personally I am just bad on the inside. It's not some kind of rule or pattern, it's just who I've become; a shitty person.

What do you plan on doing about it?

 

[enigmática saudade]

I fucking hate how disgusting and pathetic I am.
I am such a toxic person to others.
I made my friends' lives worse.
People around me don't view me as a normal human-being, instead they think I'm dysfunctional.

 

[LonelyLight]

Relatable.