A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,440
Tomorrow after work I'm going to get my head and my face shaved. Kinda like Britney Spears, if Britney also had a beard and a mustache.
I voiced my anxiety over the fact I'll also be signing DNR the day after and then go through something like colonoscopy, but with holes drilled in my head down to the brain. Also, they're going to put electrodes IN my brain. Into the meat, in order to observe it's electrical and chemical properties.

I exploded with my anxiety on a coworker.
He ended his spiel with "it's not cancer, it's not life threatening!"
I WISH it was cancer!
I WISH this shit would just be done with it and kill me!
But no, no, it drags on and on, and there are very few (relatively) people who died from seizures. Most of those who died "from seizures" died from the aftermath, not during. A grand mal seizure doesn't hurt, waking up from it does. Post ictal hurts like a motherfucker and not just the headaches and the sore body, it's also remembering how to perform basic functions such as scratching your nose.
I WISH this shit would just give me a huge 3hr seizure that fried up my entire brain in one go, but it doesn't happen.

Fucking ableds.
Edit: My anxiety is not over the doctors killing me by accident, it's over the idea of coming like Stephen Hawkins out of there.
Even worse would be the doctors saying they're not going to cut that shit out of my brain!
So yeah, ableds. Fuck ableds.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: potablewater784, Deleted member 14573 and Fragile
Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
That's a valid worry, the thought of ending up permanently disabled because of a medical procedure is scary. Hope everything goes well for you without serious issues.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Deleted member 14573
F

faraway_beach

Seawater and stardust
Dec 30, 2019
360
I hope this went well! Not just that there were no bad effects, but that they found something that will help you!
 

Similar threads

echolocation
Replies
0
Views
121
Suicide Discussion
echolocation
echolocation
sevennn
Replies
6
Views
318
Suicide Discussion
sevennn
sevennn
sancta-simplicitas
Replies
3
Views
203
Suicide Discussion
Forever Sleep
F