Water-Lily

Water-Lily

Enlightened
Dec 26, 2020
1,182
I don't want to go into what i said. If I do I will shame spiral into a worse mental state

We were talking about a hot button issue (an issue I brought up). I made a comment that was insensitive and she called me out on what I said. I owned it and apologized. She said "it's ok" and that was that

Immediately shame came over me after I realized what I had done. And her saying it's ok, doesn't mean she's ok. Things will likely be very awkward the next few weeks before graduation. And all because of my own doing

I'm not going to talk to her. Just give her space and be a bit more reserved than normal. I can't expect to be all nice after what I did

We even made eye contact outside. I avoided her and she kept on walking

If Im being honest, I just want to curl in a ball and cry

I wish I had family to turn to and people to vent about the situation. But I have no one

I'm even considering spending the night at a relatives place, but I'd have a change of pajamas and stuff for myself

I hate myself. I hate what I did. Heck, if my other friends found out they'd probably cut me off

Being the bad guy in someone's story hurts like hell

I even contemplated going back to my regular home where my brother is. He'll likely go into how I'm a "bitch" but maybe that's what I deserve
 
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Unicr0n

Unicr0n

Stuck in a black hole...
Mar 26, 2024
259
Bruhhhhhh I know how you feel. Same exact logic and mental state. It hurts hurting other people doesn't it. All we can do is try to learn from our mistakes and think more critically and hold back on impulse the next time we're put in that kind of situatino.

I hope your friendship with your roommate remains steady and strong. Don't let your mistakes get in the way of your success in life! We need mistakes in order to become a better person!! I've said some whack slag that has completely turned people off from me. I gave them a few days to calm down and then I apologized better the second time. Acknowledging what I did wrong and why it was wrong. And making a statement that I'd fight to improve from that experience. We have to have rain in order to appreciate the sunshine!! Stay safe !
 

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