Hi there,
This is my first post here. I have been reading many of your posts though and they've helped me. I'm CBT today with SN. I have two bottles with 50 ml of water and two times 23g of SN ready to be mixed with the water at the end of the day. I have started the AE and haven't eaten anything. I also gave Tagamet and clonazepam. Oxycodon if needed. I would like to die in my bed. But my parents will be there and I can not do that to them. So I will go to the woods nearby. There's a lake there that I like to walk around. I'll find my spot there and take it. I have written a letter to my family and friends. It will not come as a surprise to them, but I know it will hurt them immensely. I hate that. But I can't go on like this. I have untreatable
C-PTSD. There's no more therapy left that I can do. I've been told my symptoms won't get better than this. Euthanasia has been denied immediately. I'm 'too young' to die... *rolls eyes* well let's just agree to disagree there. I don't see another way out of the mental suffering. I am weirdly calm. I said goodbye to my parents this morning. It hurt.. But after that I felt relieved. It makes me feel guilty. I feel worried for my family and friends, but at the same time I am looking forward to going to the woods and sit there at the lake against a tree and finally get my peace.....
This is my first post here. I have been reading many of your posts though and they've helped me. I'm CBT today with SN. I have two bottles with 50 ml of water and two times 23g of SN ready to be mixed with the water at the end of the day. I have started the AE and haven't eaten anything. I also gave Tagamet and clonazepam. Oxycodon if needed. I would like to die in my bed. But my parents will be there and I can not do that to them. So I will go to the woods nearby. There's a lake there that I like to walk around. I'll find my spot there and take it. I have written a letter to my family and friends. It will not come as a surprise to them, but I know it will hurt them immensely. I hate that. But I can't go on like this. I have untreatable
C-PTSD. There's no more therapy left that I can do. I've been told my symptoms won't get better than this. Euthanasia has been denied immediately. I'm 'too young' to die... *rolls eyes* well let's just agree to disagree there. I don't see another way out of the mental suffering. I am weirdly calm. I said goodbye to my parents this morning. It hurt.. But after that I felt relieved. It makes me feel guilty. I feel worried for my family and friends, but at the same time I am looking forward to going to the woods and sit there at the lake against a tree and finally get my peace.....
