Help I feel trapped and cant breath

[deadsoul666]

I have nothing to live for except for my baby brother that i'm positive he needs me so much.. he'll be total traumatized and shocked if i ever done anything to myself.. our parents are mentally and psychologically ill (one of the many reasons why i want to end my life), so pretty much i'm the only family he got..maybe he's going to be ok after few months when i'm gone.. maybe he'll forget..he got a mother and a father at the end of the day.. but i literally have no life
I lost, i lost socially, family wise friends wise relationship wise.. i got tons of mental diseases.. body dysmorphia so i can't have a relationship with a man.. anxiety, depression, bipolarity..i lost in life.. i have nothing to live for
Also my bastard father is going to be thrilled by my death so i dont want to give him this pleasure.. i live in egypt and i was hoping if i could CTB in a place where no one would ever find me so they think i ran away or something, i want to remain missing and not to be known that i committed suicide
but again my brother is the only person im concerned about.. but my life is miserable i can't function one day i swear on everything.. its over for me there's not even 1% chance for me to recover by any mean
Should i keep thinking about ur my brother or leave him in the hands of god.? He got his mother and father at the end.. life will make him forget...i'm very lost and i can't even die to end my suffering

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm so sorry you've come to this decision.
I wish I could give you an answer as for your brother...
Still, I think ctb has to be a selfish act. Otherwise, we're not able to leave this world because we worry too much about our family, friends, etc and who's the one suffering the most in end? Us.

For that reason, I've decided to ctb and stop thinking about my dad, who'll suffer lots once I'm gone.