Venting I feel sorry for people who have to look at me

[Sunoo]

I used to think I was kind of pretty but I think because of my binge purge massacre people have been avoiding me and no one has ever said something nice to me in a long time. I feel so ugly and pathetic and I wanna die. This is not the only reason why I wanna ctb but me feeling so embarrassed of myself is what got me into anorexia thinking people would like me more if I became skinny. But obviously now I'm suffering even more.
My mom kept pressuring me to tell her why I was acting so low today and when I told her she scoffed at me and began to say how unlucky she was and how ungrateful I was.
I just want to be loved, I hope everyone begins to love and miss me once I'm gone

 

[mob]

Perhaps hearing that someone relates would bring you some comfort. I've also been dealing with disordered eating habits, although not in a full blown eating disorder way. I've felt ugly since I came into this world, and I also feel embarrassed when people have to even look at me.

I've starved, binged, starved, binged, over and over again. My looks is also one of my ctb reasons. I'm sorry about how your mother reacted, she doesn't seem to understand.

You're not alone. I wish you the best.

 

[0xdobalina]

Hey. I struggled with compulsive eating/restriction/athletic bulimia for a few years. In hindsight it was the first compulsive behaviour of a string that ended up destroying my life.

In spite of what happened to me - which is unrelated to disordered eating - I know how painful it can be, and I also know that you can heal and have a normal life again.

Im sorry that your mother responded that way. She simply doesn't understand, and I know that's not what you need right now.

I hope you can find the help you need. Just know that this terrible thing can get better, you can become free of its grip, even if it feels way beyond your control right now.

 

[dmdmdm]

I'm sorry for people who look at me too. I know that they look at my face thinking about how puffy and fat it is. I know they look at my disgusting teeth and think about how yellow and seperated they are. I know they look at my wrinkles. I know they look at my Acne. I know they look at my eye rings. I'm genuinely sorry to them for being Part of this society and them nor being able to so anything about it.

 

[filthystray]

Well... It's not exactly the same thing but it's also body dymorphia so I feel I can toss my 2 cents in. I'm a transgender man and before hrt I always felt ugly and embarrassed by my looks. In a lot of ways I still feel ugly and embarrassed because I'm pre any surgeries really. So yeah, I'm sorry everyone else makes you feel that way, no one deserves to be made to feel like things as surface as appearence define their character

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

I feel so ugly and pathetic and I wanna die. This is not the only reason why I wanna ctb

I feel the same way.

 

[Enlighten]

I used to think I was kind of pretty but I think because of my binge purge massacre people have been avoiding me and no one has ever said something nice to me in a long time. I feel so ugly and pathetic and I wanna die. This is not the only reason why I wanna ctb but me feeling so embarrassed of myself is what got me into anorexia thinking people would like me more if I became skinny. But obviously now I'm suffering even more.
My mom kept pressuring me to tell her why I was acting so low today and when I told her she scoffed at me and began to say how unlucky she was and how ungrateful I was.
I just want to be loved, I hope everyone begins to love and miss me once I'm gone

I'm sorry you feel these things. I myself have struggled with the way i look aswell. I've even had jaw/chin surgery to fix it up, but it didn't matter that much. In the end it's about accepting what and who you are, but that is very difficult.
I'm sorry your mom treats you like this. If you wanna talk, feel free to DM me. That applies for everyone who reads this btw!

 

[IDoNotExist]

You are unique in your own way. Nobody is normal in this world because everyone has their flaws and perfections. If you think nobody loves you or cares about you or no one is by your side, you're forgetting one important person who has stayed with you from the moment you were born till now and till you're alive. This person is in fact you yourself. You have yourself and it is all that matters. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and you're the first person that will always notice your beauty. Love yourself cause if you are unique then it means you are yourself, you'll find yourself more easily, you'll be able to always identify who you are because you will always know that you are you. Always remember that you have yourself!
I feel like this is straight-up confusing but idk how else to put it into words, forgive me for my incapability.