Venting I feel so uncomfortable and upset

[Brokensaddle]

I got a voicemail message from the police today saying they worried about me because they had received a concern of safety about me plus a report regarding me being a victim of domestic violence at home. I'm scared someone at work has done this because I only recently told someone I work with about my difficulties and how I had to leave home due to domestic violence and how I was reported missing and I had to speak to the people. I was having a meltdown with all of the stress and as a autistic person when your stressed you just breakdown and can't cope. I'm not sure who's said what but I'm scared if it's a work colleague them they might call the police again and tell them I'm about where I'm going when I ctb and my plans on how I'm going to ctb. I've kept my sn plus all of the other pills in safe place away from home or hotel I'm living in at the moment in cases the police come around and ask questions because I find as autistic person it's hard to lie. I did call the police and say I didn't want to talk about the situation or take the matter any further. They said I can change my mind at any point. What do I do as I'm planning on ctb at the end of January and I don't wanna be saved

 

[rationaltake]

I'm sorry things are going wrong for you again.

How do you feel about mentioning the domestic abuse to the police?

I understand if everything is just too much.

What's it like in the hotel?

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like such an awful and stressful situation to be in, it's such a cruel existence which brings people to this point and it must be hard to deal with what you go through. Being 'saved' from ctb plans against your wishes sounds so horrible to me, so I hope that you manage to find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Brokensaddle]

I'm sorry things are going wrong for you again.

How do you feel about mentioning the domestic abuse to the police?

I understand if everything is just too much.

What's it like in the hotel?

I've previously tried to report and a investigation was done but they said they press charges at the time. A large part me wants to go back and talk to them just to see if I do give a statement would do anything different this time but I'm also scared because it would make it worse. The last time I spoke to the police about abuse they didn't do anything at all.

The abuse good so bad I had to leave. If I had stayed I would have gone mad and ended up psych. Honestly I'm so done being treated like sub human. Nobody entitled to control people's life's and hurt and abuse them daily. I was surprised the police didn't come out to actually see me and the state I'm in. I'm managed to blow them off within a minute conversation. With missing person report and domestic violence report they could have put placed me under police protection which means doing further checks to make sure I'm okay mentally and psychologically.

I've been living in a hotel for good month now and it's pretty good. It's expensive but I managed to get a good deal online. I miss my cats so much. I'm not harmed here, I can eat and drink when I want and use the bathroom and instead of doing in my bathroom and being forced to sleep in it. I'm only stick around because I have loose ends to tie up and I have a do a couple of things of friends. Once the last week of January hits I plan on ctb

That sounds like such an awful and stressful situation to be in, it's such a cruel existence which brings people to this point and it must be hard to deal with what you go through. Being 'saved' from ctb plans against your wishes sounds so horrible to me, so I hope that you manage to find the freedom that you wish for.

Thank you

I've been forced to stay in psych inpatient stays and I have spoken to the police on multiple occasions and nothing changed. This time I get to make my own decisions. It's extremely painful existing. I just want to be at peace, hopefully in couple weeks my nightmarish of life will come to end and I'll be so happy with that.