T
ThatStateOfMind
Enlightened
- Nov 13, 2021
- 1,092
I feel so lonely. Anyone who read my last post knows about the breakup with my ex, and about how she's now talking to my friend.
She messaged me this morning and made sure I'm okay. I guess I should be happy she cares and still messages me but I feel like she is acting like she cares. I can't put my finger on why it feels disingenuous, maybe it's the briefness and abbreviation of it. It read exactly, "U doing okay?" I know before our breakup, her texts normally didn't use abbreviations, and instead of emojis now, she uses emoticons, like ":)" and stuff like that. I don't know, I feel lonely, I feel like nobody really cares and I feel so close to ending it.
It's crazy, I can go from feeling great to feeling awful so quickly. I tested partial and I still can't get over SI and the weird sensations that come along with it, and I'm fairly certain I'm doing it right. Mostly everything feels tingly and I hate the sensation.
I don't know, I'm so attached to this ex and it's so hard to let go, I don't wanna let go at all. She said she still has feelings for me but I shouldn't hold my breath and prepare for the worst if she doesn't break up with him and I can't. I can't at all, no matter how hard I've tried. I still love and care so deeply. Our breakup was so sudden and I at least wanna stay friends but I don't know. She says she hasn't truly moved on and he's just a rebound but I'm so worried that she stays with him and I lose the best thing I ever had.
I truly want this pain to end, I don't want to miss her anymore.
She messaged me this morning and made sure I'm okay. I guess I should be happy she cares and still messages me but I feel like she is acting like she cares. I can't put my finger on why it feels disingenuous, maybe it's the briefness and abbreviation of it. It read exactly, "U doing okay?" I know before our breakup, her texts normally didn't use abbreviations, and instead of emojis now, she uses emoticons, like ":)" and stuff like that. I don't know, I feel lonely, I feel like nobody really cares and I feel so close to ending it.
It's crazy, I can go from feeling great to feeling awful so quickly. I tested partial and I still can't get over SI and the weird sensations that come along with it, and I'm fairly certain I'm doing it right. Mostly everything feels tingly and I hate the sensation.
I don't know, I'm so attached to this ex and it's so hard to let go, I don't wanna let go at all. She said she still has feelings for me but I shouldn't hold my breath and prepare for the worst if she doesn't break up with him and I can't. I can't at all, no matter how hard I've tried. I still love and care so deeply. Our breakup was so sudden and I at least wanna stay friends but I don't know. She says she hasn't truly moved on and he's just a rebound but I'm so worried that she stays with him and I lose the best thing I ever had.
I truly want this pain to end, I don't want to miss her anymore.