I feel so disconnected from others

[lostundead]

There is no one in my life who I could talk to about my problems because they are incapable of grasping what I'm going through every single day, which is why I've cut off contact completely with my family, even my mother who I live in the same household with; we never talk about anything aside from the bare minimum. My great grandfather was lucky enough to survive the second world war but no one in my family ever bothered to ask him about what he had experienced there and thus it was just completely lost in time, which should tell you a lot about what my family is like. They will sweep anything uncomfortable, that could put a little crack in their pink glasses, under the rug.

I often feel like other people live in a different reality than I do and there is always a huge barrier between them and myself that I can't pass in order to communicate with them. It's like they have a filter in their minds that filters out anything incompatible with their rosy worldview. Sometimes I wonder if they've ever opened a history book in their lives. All the horrors of the past seem to pass through them like nothing and they don't realize they are a part of history too, the world hasn't magically changed.

People are just so incredibly ignorant and they will continue to be so even if truth slaps them right in the face aka. "denial". They are trapped in a constant cycle of ignorance. Once you start denying the inherent cruelty of the world you will stop looking at things that could shatter your illusions which in turn will make you more delusional. Humans will never break out of that cycle themselves; it requires constant suffering to be forcefully broken out of it. As soon as you are at that point where you see the world in it's true colors there is no more going back and you will be perceived as an enemy by others (kinda like in matrix).

That's the reason why people get so angry when they hear about the existence of a place like SS, where people can openly talk about suicide. They're doing it under the pretense of wanting to help us and I'm sure there are some who genuinely want to but in truth most people want to punish us for being suicidal because it's a contradiction to their worldview. They believe there is some sort of ominous balance in this world that makes it impossible to get to a state where suicide is the only option left.

People always give me such weird looks. I feel like a stranger everywhere I go, no one understands me. How do you guys deal with this feeling?

 

[xLosthopex]

I really relate
Even though I have wonderful parents/family who have tried their absolute best to help me, at the end of the day there is no way they can possibly understand and fully empathize with the complexity of my situation and sheer level of mental suffering I'm experiencing. Hence why I've also withdrawn myself from everyone in my life… it's for the best, but it's still such an unbearably lonely and isolating experience(and this is coming from an autistic, highly introverted person who for the most part much prefers my own company than the company of others)

 

[FuneralCry]

I have always felt disconnected from people, I cannot relate to others, but for me I prefer to be alone and I am very introverted. I think people can only comprehend what you are going through, if they have been through something similar. Many non suicidal people live under a delusion that life is always worth living and they dismiss those who are suicidal as always being irrational. I think wanting suicide can be perfectly rational in a world like this. I personally cannot stand most people and I see it as better to stay away.