I feel so alone in my derealization

[mosai1que]

the 'feeling like youre going crazy' is no joke omg. I keep hearing footsteps or humming or just noise, and 'seeing' things that belong in my dreams, like things that couldnt possibly be real like a big grey box floating in the forest. Its so disorienting and i spend so much of my energy trying to discern what happened in my dream and what happened in real life.
i HATE that i cant relate to anyone. even tho i finally have friends i feel more lonely than ever. Like how can i feel community when we're not even experiencing the same world/reality.
i constantly have dreams(ironically) of running away and finding the 'real world' or being taken to a place where people understand when i tell them how i see the world. Doctors and psychiatrists have commented that it sounds borderline psychotic but not really, which makes me even more sad. I dont even fit into the derealization-box or psychosis-box. Noone gets it and i feel SO wrong. I feel like a defect.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I suffer from this too.
It's so very weird and unless they've been through it themselves other people won't understand it.
I look at people in the outside world and they don't appear real to me, as though they are video game characters or holograms.
I question reality a lot these days and sometimes wonder if I am actually living in some kind of waking dream.

 

[mosai1que]

I suffer from this too.
It's so very weird and unless they've been through it themselves other people won't understand it.
I look at people in the outside world and they don't appear real to me, as though they are video game characters or holograms.
I question reality a lot these days and sometimes wonder if I am actually living in some kind of waking dream.

Im really sorry to hear and i hope we both can get out of this.
and true with the thing about people who havent tried it not understanding. I tried opening up to a friend and all she had to say was 'isnt that a drug thing?'. I kind of miss just being depressed because I feel so alien going through derealization. Most people get it when you tell them youre dealing with depression

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Im really sorry to hear and i hope we both can get out of this.
and true with the thing about people who havent tried it not understanding. I tried opening up to a friend and all she had to say was 'isnt that a drug thing?'. I kind of miss just being depressed because I feel so alien going through derealization. Most people get it when you tell them youre dealing with depression

Thank you.
I hope you can get out of it too.
It really does make you feel alienated from this world in a weird and often frightening way.

 

[tvoisluga]

currently alone and in derealization. it's so fucking scary the loneliness is actually terrifying disgusting everything is so wrong i want it to stop so even if this post is older theres a girl currenly going through your hell too. (not that i know your struggles but i can relate to the mental state)

 

[mywayout]

even tho i finally have friends i feel more lonely than ever.

i definitely relate to this. friends are easily just a much more effective way to isolate you.

 

[mosai1que]

currently alone and in derealization. it's so fucking scary the loneliness is actually terrifying disgusting everything is so wrong i want it to stop so even if this post is older theres a girl currenly going through your hell too. (not that i know your struggles but i can relate to the mental state)

Its nice knowing im not alone! even tho noone deserves to feel like this.
sending virtual hugs<33

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My case is not the same to yours in seeing things that aren't there but I feel the things that are around me are evil or possessed or can read my mind. That alone already makes me question my reality so I can't even imagine how confusing it must be for you.
Telling people when things happen makes me feel more crazy and feels like it makes these things more real.

 

[mosai1que]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My case is not the same to yours in seeing things that aren't there but I feel the things that are around me are evil or possessed or can read my mind. That alone already makes me question my reality so I can't even imagine how confusing it must be for you.
Telling people when things happen makes me feel more crazy and feels like it makes these things more real.

Sorry to hear:/
i totally know what you mean when you say that telling people makes it worse. like it just muddles everything even more. tbh i find solace in knowing im not alone. People irl get seem like they dont get it at all.
this community is comforting for things like that. Especially the recovery section

 

[exiled]

depersonalization and derealization took my life from me. i am so sorry. i cannot begin to explain to you how much of a hell it is; i'm sure you know. i don't know if relating is helpful, but just wanted to put that out there.