I feel so afraid

[crybaby]

*sorry,I am not good at english*

In September, something happened that made me want to commit suicide, so I tried to hang myself.I tried 4 times but i was failed.

Now I have sn and meto, but I lost the urge to commit suicide. Because i don't need to go to school now. I stay at home everyday, nothing will happen,no one can hurt me and make me feel suicide.

I always feel terrified,so I have been delaying suicide.I have hope and expectation for the afterlife, even if there is no afterlife, I can accept it. But I'm afraid of the process of death, and I worry about what happens when I lose consciousness...I feel pain to alive, but I'm afraid of death. Who can help me? who can tell me how to accept death?...;3

 

[Jean4]

I'm so sorry. If you want, do you want to talk about what happened ?

And your English is fine.

 

[Deathwish777]

It's perfectly normal to be scared. I can't say all of us but most of us still here because we are afraid of process of dying and have doubt in method.
I don't fully understand ur situation right now but I suggest u to take your time. No need to rush.
If you ever need to talk, we are here for you.

English is my first language too but dont be afraid to talk to people here. People are very kind here.

 

[Sensei]

Because i don't need to go to school now. I stay at home everyday, nothing will happen,no one can hurt me and make me feel suicide.

This makes me think that you should wait a little bit before going to action. If you don't feel suicidal when you don't go to school, it means that you know exactly what the problem is and have a solution, at least a temporary one. If you miss out on lessons, it can be fixed later. If you kill yourself, it can't be fixed later. I don't know what country you live in and how it works there, but would it be possible for you to get home schooling?

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

I would be happy to talk to you about what happened to make you feel bad and hurt.

No matter how severe your trama was you can heal from it and go on to live a happy life with purpose. I know it seems impossible, but many people have.

If you would like to talk I am here, as are many others.