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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,075
For various reasons I am unable to have a partner, I am also a completely useless socializing, I do not have friends and my social life is practically non-existent.

Loneliness is horrible, it's my main reason for ctb.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Loneliness messes up your brain... That's why mine is destroyed.
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
Loneliness messes up your brain... That's why mine is destroyed.
True, it's the worst disease, because it doesn't kill you, it just breaks you little by little.
 
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J

Jolene40

Specialist
Oct 6, 2018
370
For various reasons I am unable to have a partner, I am also a completely useless socializing, I do not have friends and my social life is practically non-existent.

Loneliness is horrible, it's my main reason for ctb.

Could you cope with a loving pet like a dog? I know it's not the same. I'm totally belittling your suffering but if you have the mental and physical strength I wonder what difference this could make to someone where loneliness is the key feeling leading to such misery. I know loneliness destroys your soul so I hope my platitudes aren't too exasperating x
 
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Mart

Mart

eh
Apr 27, 2019
95
For various reasons I am unable to have a partner, I am also a completely useless socializing, I do not have friends and my social life is practically non-existent.

Loneliness is horrible, it's my main reason for ctb.
Loneliness sucks. I start feeling lonely real easy too so that doesn't really help at all. I can be with most people and still feel lonely, there's really only a handful of people in this world that have and do make me feel something when I'm with them.
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
Could you cope with a loving pet like a dog? I know it's not the same. I'm totally belittling your suffering but if you have the mental and physical strength I wonder what difference this could make to someone where loneliness is the key feeling leading to such misery. I know loneliness destroys your soul so I hope my platitudes aren't too exasperating x
It's a good idea, unless he ends like me where my dog loves my mother way more and barely pays attention to me.
 
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J

Jolene40

Specialist
Oct 6, 2018
370
It's a good idea, unless he ends like me where my dog loves my mother way more and barely pays attention to me.

God yes good point. I've had a traitor dog before :-(. It's another bloody rejection. I found Labradors ( although a bit high maintenance for some energy wise) to have the most beautiful loving temperament. For some the stress and responsibility is too much though so it's not necessarily an easy answer.
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
God yes good point. I've had a traitor dog before :-(. It's another bloody rejection. I found Labradors ( although a bit high maintenance for some energy wise) to have the most beautiful loving temperament. For some the stress and responsibility is too much though so it's not necessarily an easy answer.
My previous dog loved me more but cancer took her last year, I wish I was the one with cancer.
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
A lot of times being around others doesn't help. You can feel just as lonely. It's an internal feeling that can't be helped by your surroundings.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
A lot of times being around others doesn't help. You can feel just as lonely. It's an internal feeling that can't be helped by your surroundings.
Exactly spot on!!
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
A lot of times being around others doesn't help. You can feel just as lonely. It's an internal feeling that can't be helped by your surroundings.
True, I feel like that at work every single day. Even the last time I went to a party I had the same feeling.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
I used to go to the bar quite a bit. But now I can't handle being around so many people at one time. Last time I went to one, I sat at the corner of the bar, where there were very few people.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
For various reasons I am unable to have a partner, I am also a completely useless socializing, I do not have friends and my social life is practically non-existent.

Loneliness is horrible, it's my main reason for ctb.
It's an important one for me as well.
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,171
I know this is a difficult issue for many people, I think a lot just aren't vocal about it.

For me, It's hard to assess any loneliness when I choose to isolate so no one sees me. Though it's not really a choice to me. I think if I were around people then perhaps I would feel it but only because I know no one else around me cares or understands (or even tries) the type of grief I feel every second of everyday, and even in my dreams.

I am so sorry you have to experience such loneliness and have trouble socializing. I know I can socialize just fine but I am bound by my body and face. So it's like something being dangled over my head. I can reach it but I will end up pulling a string that turns on a spotlight. And I don't want any attention on me in person, it amplifies what I already know to be true. An ugly reflection.

Do you have trouble just making friends or is it keeping them?
I don't know that it's possible to keep friends when in the state of wanting to CTB. Unless they share your desire.
My mother is the only one I have right now but even she threatens to abandon me, even after acknowledging my suffering.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Guess it doesn't matter who we are, in the we all need at least one special person to be with.
You need some anchors in life. Consistently reliable people. I think anyway.
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
You need some anchors in life. Consistently reliable people. I think anyway.
Sadly those people tend to not exist and finding a lasting relationship is near impossible.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,075
Could you cope with a loving pet like a dog? I know it's not the same. I'm totally belittling your suffering but if you have the mental and physical strength I wonder what difference this could make to someone where loneliness is the key feeling leading to such misery. I know loneliness destroys your soul so I hope my platitudes aren't too exasperating x
It's a good idea, but I'm not sure if I have the time and mental health to take care of it as it deserves

and as you say, it's not the same
Do you have trouble just making friends or is it keeping them?

I have problems for both, when I'm with people I feel strange and I never have to join any group.
 
Last edited:
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tomz323

tomz323

Walking to the bus stop
Mar 29, 2019
367
Loneliness messes up your brain... That's why mine is destroyed.
I think I know what you mean, does anyone else talk to themselves aloud and in their head like its another person?
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
I think I know what you mean, does anyone else talk to themselves aloud and in their head like its another person?
I talk out loud like there is another person standing beside me... Both mostly, it's all in my head.
 
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tomz323

tomz323

Walking to the bus stop
Mar 29, 2019
367
I talk out loud like there is another person standing beside me... Both mostly, it's all in my head.
Yeah, I think like I'm talking to another person so I don't feel so alone.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Yeah, I think like I'm talking to another person so I don't feel so alone.
Yep. And when you get to the point that you realize this is really happening, that's when you know your mind is fucked.
 
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tomz323

tomz323

Walking to the bus stop
Mar 29, 2019
367
Yep. And when you get to the point that you realize this is really happening, that's when you know your mind is fucked.
Yeah, can slowly feel myself going insane. Like I'm about to snap any minute.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Yeah, can slowly feel myself going insane. Like I'm about to snap any minute.
Do you also have arguments with the person in your head?

I do.

And in reality, your brain doesn't know which side to be on, so it's just a non stop battle. Sometimes I wish I could go in there and tell them both to shut the hell up and go take a time out.
 
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tomz323

tomz323

Walking to the bus stop
Mar 29, 2019
367
And in reality, your brain doesn't know which side to be on, so it's just a non stop battle. Sometimes I wish I could go in there and tell them both to shut the hell up and go take a time out.

Oh Yes, my brain is constantly battling with itself, I can relate to wanting to tell it to shut up. That's why I love sleeping and smoke weed so much, it shuts up the brain.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Oh Yes, my brain is constantly battling with itself, I can relate to wanting to tell it to shut up. That's why I love sleeping and smoke weed so much, it shuts up the brain.
I don't smoke weed, but like you I try to sleep a lot to turn the brain off. The problem with it though, is the people in my head will follow me into my dreams. And it makes me wonder if they do because of some of the odd, fucked up dreams I have.
 
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tomz323

tomz323

Walking to the bus stop
Mar 29, 2019
367
I don't smoke weed, but like you I try to sleep a lot to turn the brain off. The problem with it though, is the people in my head will follow me into my dreams. And it makes me wonder if they do because of some of the odd, fucked up dreams I have.
Luckily my dreams aren't that bad, they are fucking weird though.
 
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