The best analogy I can make right now is that my mind led me down a dark tunnel, and I couldn't see anything outside of it - couldn't imagine anything outside of it. Couldn't retrace my steps and back out. The only way was forward, deeper into insanity. Rational thought was impossible. Everything I said and did, my every thought, were products of paranoia and hopelessness. Of course I had no idea this was even happening - that dark tunnel was my entire reality. It lasted weeks. I went deeper and deeper every day, completely unaware of what was happening to me. I finally snapped out of it when I completely lost it at work and started yelling and throwing a fit. Some tiny piece of me said "Whoa, man! This isn't you!" Then suddenly I was me again, surveying all the wreckage I'd left in my wake over the past weeks. It was literally like waking up from a nightmare. Now I'm in a shame and remorse phase. I lost a good friend, someone I loved very much. She'll never speak to me again. I'll never see her again. I can't even apologise to her. How could I? "Hey, sorry I'm crazy."?