Venting i feel lonely around my friends

[nezu.061]

i feel like i'm slowly losing the ones i love. or i'm more-so becoming less interesting or less fun or nice or whatever to them. i feel like less and less people are givin' a shit about me. i know i'm losing friends.

i've had to give up a friend i liked because he did bad things to my other friend. i know i shouldn't feel bad about it, because my other friend matters more, but i had a real connection with him, too. i didn't think he could do something like that, but he's an abuser. it hurts to let him go, but i know i should. and i did. i'll call him M.

M didn't outright abuse the friend i still have (A), but he abused the girlfriend he had before A. he was just outright not good to A either, so that's why i have to leave him. it hurts, but i have to. i can't tolerate what he did.

i think what hurts more is that i feel like A ignores me a bit in favor of people she likes better. whenever somebody or some people that share an interest with her comes around, i feel that she doesn't pay as much attention to me. like i'm no longer there. i feel like i get the short end of the stick sometimes. i can't help but feel jealous. i don't ever have people that share the same interests i do besides A. i feel so stupidly hurt over it.

and i guess my 'closest' friend i have i've already ruined things with. we had a situationship thing before it all passed over. now, he just ignores me sometimes and i can't do much except try to get his attention. he pretends i'm not there.

i don't know what to do. sometimes, i feel like ctb is the only way to catch their full attention. the only way to make them miss me. everybody would care once i'm gone.

 

[dreamscape1111]

Things get worse before they get better, dear.
Sometimes losing something old is just a bridge to something much much better.

Be patient and give it some time, it'll all come out right in the end, there's divine timing in everything.
Not knowing what to do is a good sign, it means you're embarking into unknown territory, which is one step closer to true living.

Once you know how to be with yourself fully, you won't need anyone's attention, and on that day, suddenly, everyone gives you lots of attention.
Why? Because you're radiating abundance instead of neediness and lack, that's very attractive and it can't be faked.

All the best, honey. May you be loved, may you be happy, may you be peaceful.
Much love to all. <3

 

[SaveForSuit]

First off, if you ctb, you won't be there to see who cares, so the notion that ctb would make people care is redundant.

Have you talked about how you feel about all this with A?

Things get worse before they get better, dear.
Sometimes losing something old is just a bridge to something much much better.

Be patient and give it some time, it'll all come out right in the end, there's divine timing in everything.
Not knowing what to do is a good sign, it means you're embarking into unknown territory, which is one step closer to true living.

Once you know how to be with yourself fully, you won't need anyone's attention, and on that day, suddenly, everyone gives you lots of attention.
Why? Because you're radiating abundance instead of neediness and lack, that's very attractive and it can't be faked.

All the best, honey. May you be loved, may you be happy, may you be peaceful.
Much love to all. <3

Thank you for posting this. So many people need to hear this exact message. I was at my worst when someone told me roughly the same thing, and it helped me work through all my shit like you wouldn't believe.

 

[nezu.061]

ctb would not be a good way to get your friends attention, because you would be dead and you wouldn't be able to receive the attention that you wanted

First off, if you ctb, you won't be there to see who cares, so the notion that ctb would make people care is redundant.

i obviously know that i wouldn't actually be there to witness their reactions, but the idea of at least somebody grieving over me feels appealing. it kind of feels selfish to want to grab attention, let alone in an extreme way like that.

Have you talked about how you feel about all this with A?

i haven't talked about it, but i know i should. i'll eventually come around to it soon. i just feel a bit nervous to.

Things get worse before they get better, dear.
Sometimes losing something old is just a bridge to something much much better.

Be patient and give it some time, it'll all come out right in the end, there's divine timing in everything.
Not knowing what to do is a good sign, it means you're embarking into unknown territory, which is one step closer to true living.

Once you know how to be with yourself fully, you won't need anyone's attention, and on that day, suddenly, everyone gives you lots of attention.
Why? Because you're radiating abundance instead of neediness and lack, that's very attractive and it can't be faked.

All the best, honey. May you be loved, may you be happy, may you be peaceful.
Much love to all. <3

thank you for all the kind words, too <3. i can't express my thanks. we need more people like you!

 

[todiefor]

I'm sorry you felt u morally had to distance from a friend of what they did to others, I've done it before, that's a difficult decision to make and not pleasant, but u did what u thought was right and that's brave :)

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that loneliness is painful for so many who exist here, I personally don't believe that other people can be relied on in this cruel existence, it must be tiring suffering like that but anyway I wish you the best.