i feel like I'm close to my breaking point

[Tionally]

I can't do this anymore. I feel trapped and everything feels pointless and pathetic. objectively my life's not that bad but it doesn't feel like it. I'm kinda scared of dying but I definitely don't wanna live like this. I tried to hold onto hope and fake happiness but it doesn't work. it feels like I'm failing at everything

 

[puella]

You're doing better than you are giving yourself credit for. I'm proud of you. The world is just very harsh.

Want to talk about what exactly has been going wrong?

 

[sleepyhollow]

I really resonate with your words. Life can be really tough sometimes, if not all of the time, and I just have to wonder if it is worth it. The "fake happiness" is so real, tho. I smile because I don't want my loved ones to worry, but they worry anyways because I spend most of my time in my room. It's exhausting to pretend to be okay in front of them, though, so I avoid them to make sure that they don't see through my facade when it gets too difficult to maintain.
I know that this might seem hypocritical, since I haven't opened up to those who know me personally either, but maybe you could talk to a family member or friend about the way that you are feeling? If you don't feel comfortable doing that, or don't think that it is a viable solution, know that we are here for you and ready to listen .

 

[Yaffle]

I can't do this anymore. I feel trapped and everything feels pointless and pathetic. objectively my life's not that bad but it doesn't feel like it. I'm kinda scared of dying but I definitely don't wanna live like this. I tried to hold onto hope and fake happiness but it doesn't work. it feels like I'm failing at everything

I relate to every word.

Probably the bravest thing you've done today is posting this.

 

[Tionally]

Want to talk about what exactly has been going wrong?

I guess nothing specific happened in my live other than starting uni, and losing a few friends, and romance drama. (standard stuff but I hate change but anyway thats not the problem) but I have had no motivation to do anything for a long time. I haven't really been feeling well from like my early teens but over the last couple months my problems increased and now I have severe derealization/depersonalization, no motivation to do anything(I never had any but now it's worse) anhedonia(this one I have since I was like 13) and I just feel bad more often than anything.

(I guess there's also some childhood trauma?? but nothing big and it never bothered me. I only began being suicidal at the end of highschool)

on top of that now I'm failing academically because of my prostractination and laziness so there's that...

I just feel like I'm a big dissapointment. everybody has been praising me from a young age and I never put in much effort into anything. I have so many wasted potential. and I'm the one who's responsible for that