Venting i feel like i could die, the only option is to neet. im so broke.

[notevenhere]

abusive, controlling, narcissric mother and a stepdad that just wants nothing to do with me but to move out. i want to move out. i saved over enough money to go but ive been gaslighted to not step out. I'd die if i tried. everyone around me is fed up with me. im asking to be hospitalized or to go to a shelter but the conditions in this country is piss poor. just wish i could die. it's not new but i have so much spite in me. everything is just too complicated to explain, even if i vent about my disabilities and mental illness— i'll yet again be shamed and invalidated, like how everyone is saying im not actually being abused.

 

[FeyB]

This is a free space if you need to vent feel free to do so no one will judge.
Often I see that I have it better than a lot of other people on this site as most of my problems are from my autism but it's not as debilitating as others.
Feel free to tell your story and no one will judge you

 

[Gaga786]

Gaslighting is just terrible, I hate how others can make us feel that way and invalidate our struggles.I really hope your situation ameliorates and your suffering eases.I'm sorry that you have to endure that, though. Wishing you the best, please take care of yourself

 

[Ambivalent1]

Neethood is boring and empty. It's a living death where you eventually exhaust all distraction and then stare at the wall and become one with it -immobile and cold.

 

[notevenhere]

Neethood is boring and empty. It's a living death where you eventually exhaust all distraction and then stare at the wall and become one with it -immobile and cold.

i have been a NEET since i started working from home, after landing a job after high school online and then getting fired at around 21. then, i went on and lived with my parents and that's how the spiral started, my mom has been gaslighting me for decades i can't do anything on my own or apply for the real world jobs or else it will eat me alive. she also lies about little things like me hitting the dogs just because i expressed she takes care of her dogs more than me (she doesn't leave me food when she cooks for my stepfather and her son) so i am forced to either starve or order.
I don't want to be a neet but i have no choice, i wish i can actually gain the courage but when i seek help in real life, i get told i am an ungrateful, narcisstic self-centered brat with a main character syndrome because they believe my mom over me. she's very pretty and charismatic while i am autistic with a movement disorder and mental illnesses who already attempted. i'm in an asian country so there was like "you dishonored the family, we can never forgive you" vibe from relatives.

This is a free space if you need to vent feel free to do so no one will judge.
Often I see that I have it better than a lot of other people on this site as most of my problems are from my autism but it's not as debilitating as others.
Feel free to tell your story and no one will judge you

I'm scared to open up again, the last person I trust about my issues with my mom was my cousin who is the son of my mother's younger sister. it was a mistake, he kept saying hurtful things last night (my mom, stepdad and their son visited the city and she probably run her mouth with lies again) and he just blindly believed her. now, she managed to make my relatives turn against me. I have no relatives to run to, i only have my mother. so. now i am forced in this room forever. either i rot in my room, selling my body to survive from e-begging and make the money stretch for alcohol, video games, my pc (that i bought from donators money) and smokes.
i wouldnt say im lucky to be a woman online, but my mom has abused me so much i am numb, so numb that i allow these weird men from reddit to just say and do the vile gross shit to me on discord. because they pay for my food, and my mom charges me monthly for bills, too since i waste space in her house. so that goes to my food, the bills, and then to distract myself: i buy alcohol but they also control my packages, any time i order: she will open it, she opened my sex toys, my panties, when i got a vape: she tried kicking me out and then went on and made lies about me being a drug addict because i was "vaping weed" and im gonna get the whole family in trouble and ruin their lives, its just nicotine.

Gaslighting is just terrible, I hate how others can make us feel that way and invalidate our struggles.I really hope your situation ameliorates and your suffering eases.I'm sorry that you have to endure that, though. Wishing you the best, please take care of yourself

thank you, i dont know why i feel like crying, its been so long since i heard something so kind and feel like i can exist even if im suffering. i dont know. im just glad i posted.

 

[Gaga786]

i have been a NEET since i started working from home, after landing a job after high school online and then getting fired at around 21. then, i went on and lived with my parents and that's how the spiral started, my mom has been gaslighting me for decades i can't do anything on my own or apply for the real world jobs or else it will eat me alive. she also lies about little things like me hitting the dogs just because i expressed she takes care of her dogs more than me (she doesn't leave me food when she cooks for my stepfather and her son) so i am forced to either starve or order.
I don't want to be a neet but i have no choice, i wish i can actually gain the courage but when i seek help in real life, i get told i am an ungrateful, narcisstic self-centered brat with a main character syndrome because they believe my mom over me. she's very pretty and charismatic while i am autistic with a movement disorder and mental illnesses who already attempted. i'm in an asian country so there was like "you dishonored the family, we can never forgive you" vibe from relatives.

I'm scared to open up again, the last person I trust about my issues with my mom was my cousin who is the son of my mother's younger sister. it was a mistake, he kept saying hurtful things last night (my mom, stepdad and their son visited the city and she probably run her mouth with lies again) and he just blindly believed her. now, she managed to make my relatives turn against me. I have no relatives to run to, i only have my mother. so. now i am forced in this room forever. either i rot in my room, selling my body to survive from e-begging and make the money stretch for alcohol, video games, my pc (that i bought from donators money) and smokes.
i wouldnt say im lucky to be a woman online, but my mom has abused me so much i am numb, so numb that i allow these weird men from reddit to just say and do the vile gross shit to me on discord. because they pay for my food, and my mom charges me monthly for bills, too since i waste space in her house. so that goes to my food, the bills, and then to distract myself: i buy alcohol but they also control my packages, any time i order: she will open it, she opened my sex toys, my panties, when i got a vape: she tried kicking me out and then went on and made lies about me being a drug addict because i was "vaping weed" and im gonna get the whole family in trouble and ruin their lives, its just nicotine.

thank you, i dont know why i feel like crying, its been so long since i heard something so kind and feel like i can exist even if im suffering. i dont know. im just glad i posted.

Being from an asian country myself, I definitely relate to that vibe from relatives. It's just the backward mentality from such people, which really sucks. I really hope people learn to get out of that toxic mindset. Also, I noticed that gaslighting in very common in our type of families because mental health is such a taboo subject, so people think as if we are mentally ill if were struggling. I had a relative who said I'm apparently psycho because I was being bullied in school and struggling mentally, and slowly they distanced themselves from me. Even the supposed" help" out there loves to treat us as if were irrational.

 

[doneforlife]

What is NEET ?

 

[notevenhere]

Being from an asian country myself, I definitely relate to that vibe from relatives. It's just the backward mentality from such people, which really sucks. I really hope people learn to get out of that toxic mindset. Also, I noticed that gaslighting in very common in our type of families because mental health is such a taboo subject, so people think as if we are mentally ill if were struggling. I had a relative who said I'm apparently psycho because I was being bullied in school and struggling mentally, and slowly they distanced themselves from me. Even the supposed" help" out there loves to treat us as if were irrational.

I'm sorry, this really sucks. We get called slurs meant for people who are crazy when we're just mentally unwell and need help. it pushes me more to neetdom.

What is NEET ?

NOT Employed, in Education or Training. (basically jobless shut-ins)

 

[Ambivalent1]

i have been a NEET since i started working from home, after landing a job after high school online and then getting fired at around 21. then, i went on and lived with my parents and that's how the spiral started, my mom has been gaslighting me for decades i can't do anything on my own or apply for the real world jobs or else it will eat me alive. she also lies about little things like me hitting the dogs just because i expressed she takes care of her dogs more than me (she doesn't leave me food when she cooks for my stepfather and her son) so i am forced to either starve or order.
I don't want to be a neet but i have no choice, i wish i can actually gain the courage but when i seek help in real life, i get told i am an ungrateful, narcisstic self-centered brat with a main character syndrome because they believe my mom over me. she's very pretty and charismatic while i am autistic with a movement disorder and mental illnesses who already attempted. i'm in an asian country so there was like "you dishonored the family, we can never forgive you" vibe from relatives.

I'm scared to open up again, the last person I trust about my issues with my mom was my cousin who is the son of my mother's younger sister. it was a mistake, he kept saying hurtful things last night (my mom, stepdad and their son visited the city and she probably run her mouth with lies again) and he just blindly believed her. now, she managed to make my relatives turn against me. I have no relatives to run to, i only have my mother. so. now i am forced in this room forever. either i rot in my room, selling my body to survive from e-begging and make the money stretch for alcohol, video games, my pc (that i bought from donators money) and smokes.
i wouldnt say im lucky to be a woman online, but my mom has abused me so much i am numb, so numb that i allow these weird men from reddit to just say and do the vile gross shit to me on discord. because they pay for my food, and my mom charges me monthly for bills, too since i waste space in her house. so that goes to my food, the bills, and then to distract myself: i buy alcohol but they also control my packages, any time i order: she will open it, she opened my sex toys, my panties, when i got a vape: she tried kicking me out and then went on and made lies about me being a drug addict because i was "vaping weed" and im gonna get the whole family in trouble and ruin their lives, its just nicotine.

thank you, i dont know why i feel like crying, its been so long since i heard something so kind and feel like i can exist even if im suffering. i dont know. im just glad i posted.

Main character syndrome affects anyone of value. To believe you're not the main character is pointless.

 

[FeyB]

I know opening can be hard but I'm happy you are already doin it in someway by writing this post. Venting can be really healthy especially knowing you won't probably meet anyone irl so you can freely express yourself without any judgement