I feel like attempting to ctb is like getting addicted to heroin.

[noko]

Like once an addict, always an addict. Once you try suicide once, life just isn't the same, it is always on your mind and it never goes away. You can't continue on normally with your life because you always remember that you can end it and the suffering is just not worth it.

 

[can'tdoitanymore]

I completely understand and feel the same. A therapist said I was addicted to suicide. It's like the feeling of relief and euphoria an addict gets from whatever their drug of choice is. I get that relief only from feeling like all the pain is going to go away because I'll die. That has become my "high". And the more you do it the stronger that addiction gets just like any addiction. He referred to it like muscle memory. I also have OCD though and my OCD thoughts mostly became about suicide so that only exacerbates it.

 

[noko]

I also have OCD though and my OCD thoughts mostly became about suicide so that only exacerbates it.

I also have OCD and it's also about suicide now, among all the other crap.

 

[can'tdoitanymore]

It's fucking hard right?! I feel like at least I understand why I can't stop now. It makes me feel less crazy but understanding doesn't make it go away. Then combined with the reasons I initially tried to CTB (PTSD and abuse) which never get easier it's pretty much impossible.

 

[CJ2002]

exact!!! after trying the first time, life is no longer interesting ... a path of no return.

 

[braketimez]

I've noticed this applies to thinking about suicide as well.

 

[mesohappy]

I dont know if it is like "getting addicted to heroin"..Ive had alot of thoughts throughout my life..But addicted to heroin is having to chase and shoot all day and cant hold a job or support yourself as far as the addiction and shame.

Thoughts of suicide are a comfort to some while deciding whether they want to keep going in this rat race or not..I know people are compulsive and know the dangers of fucking up.

I would say suicidal tendencies are not the same as heroin addiction,but understand wanting to prolong life in getting a high for one more day.SI can be a bitch,as well as reality.

So many cases vary,some seem way worse than others..Think we can all agree life is hard.

 

[Veroski]

I think the idea of an escape from suffering is addictive as hell

 

[LMLN]

I agree. The pain is so bad...an escape from this hell feels very calming. I can relate to this.

 

[Never Free]

Like once an addict, always an addict. Once you try suicide once, life just isn't the same, it is always on your mind and it never goes away. You can't continue on normally with your life because you always remember that you can end it and the suffering is just not worth it.

Is for me. Definitely fit Suicide Anonymous description perfectly. Sounds similar for you. Just learned about it recently.

I've noticed this applies to thinking about suicide as well.

Definitely was for myself. Started wanting to die like 3 or 4. Though that gets less and less comforting. Need to feel that ultimate relief