Venting I feel like an asshole for wanting a gift from my partner

[supremacyofdeath]

I know relationships are more than gifts and money and whatever else.
For my gf birthday, I sent her a customized hoodie that she designed but she never wore it. For Christmas I sent her whole family presents. I've sent her a care package, got her those lavish cards and cute plushies for valentines and taken her to restaurants and purchased a lot of digital goods for and spent lots of money on dates and trips .
Sometimes I wish she would do the same for me too. I know it's a bit awkward and even a bit selfish of me but my birthday is soon and I dread thinking about how she won't do anything back. We are long distance because I work so I send her cards and postcards from time to time. I wish she'd just send a little card back sometimes. A compliment here or there. But when I bring it up she says she feels like a bad girlfriend and then I have to comfort her and reassure her I love her. I do. I just want to feel a bit loved too. I get if she doesn't have money but just telling me that she loves and appreciates me would make me so happy. Lately I've been just feeling super depressed over it.

 

[bankai]

Does she work a job? So I think you mentioned she doesn't have money. So that's fine if that's the case, but you're telling me she does not even compliment you?Or tell you she loves you?

I think you're being taken advantage of.Unfortunately, there are some people like that. How long have you been in a relationship?

 

[daverd]

You're not wrong in feeling that way. I believe you want to feel considered. Not necessarily the gift that matters, but the thought and effort that went into it is what makes us feel loved and appreciated. If you feel like you're putting a lot of consideration into making her feel loved and those efforts aren't reciprocated by her then you should perhaps tell her how you truly feel. If she cares about your feelings then she will listen and do better. Communication is key.

 

[whywere]

I agree with @bankai that I think that you are REALLY being taken for a ride that is costing not only in monetary BUT emotional terms.

Like I always say, we are ALL in this together and that also goes for a relationship, as far as one does not have to spend big bucks BUT "it is the thought that counts" and having been through the mill of life and relationships for decades, from what I read it is truly a one way relationship and that breaks my heart.

Communcation is one of the HUGE factors in a relationship, and if it was me, I would call and have a heart-to-heart talk and tell the person my thoughts and feelings, as long-term, one-sided relationships, be it personal or business, hardly if ever work, if at all.

Lots of hugs, family vibes to you and I wish that everything works out great for you, talk with her.

Walter

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can completely understand your dissappointment. If you push her to do it though, will it feel genuine? Do you know much about her family? Are they big gift givers? Doesn't have to be lavish. Even homemade cards or whatever. I wonder if she's just not used to doing that type of thing. You'd hope she'd reciprocate your kindness in some way. Do you think she'd notice/ be upset if you stopped sending gifts to her?

 

[Eriktf]

giving are nice but its also nice to get, i say the best are to give and get.