Venting I failed.

[CreamCheeseCaliforn]

I failed. My first ever real attempt and I had failed. Since then, I've tried hopelessly to believe that I could have hope - maybe things could get better. Partial suspension, or whatever it's called, is so difficult to pull off. Or maybe I'm just really that incompetent. I wish that assisted suicide for mental health was a thing. I'd pay for it. I'm just so exhausted and want it to end. I've tried looking into it but it only seems to be talked about and considered in Canada and I think it was Switzerland. I wish it was a thing in America. I didn't ask to be born. I'm in emotional distress daily. I'm suffering. I'm in pain. I don't get why this isn't a thing in America. At this point I might as well hire a hitman on myself.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Living is difficult dying is even more difficult! I'm sorry you have to go through this. Partial is difficult to get everything done right. Don't be too hard to yourself We're here for you!

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry to hear about that~ :( Life is truly awful~ :( I wish things could go better for you and will pray for you~ :)
Anyways, I wouldn't worry about feeling incompetent about failing to pull off partial tho~ xD I failed too! turns out that the support I was using would've broken anyways, and well, I'm too small to use the the other thing either! Even done properly, I swear it only has like a 5% chance of success or something ridiculously small~ xD

 

[Forveleth]

As fragile as humans seem to be, it is incredibly difficult to kill yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Take some time to relax and regroup. Think about why your attempt didn't work and maybe you can change something in your plan to increase your chances of success next time. A lot of us are in the same boat here so we know how you're feeling.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand just feeling so tired of it all, it's so cruel and horrible to me how there's isn't the option to just simply die in peace in an guaranteed way and never suffer ever again, I just want peace from the suffering as well, I get that it's so dreadful and tiring feeling trapped in this existence, I'll always see so much cruelty in how humans cannot just choose to be euthanised. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[CreamCheeseCaliforn]

Thank you all so much. I really appreciate the kindness and the empathy. It means a lot, especially when I feel so alone at all times and like nobody ever understands the depths of my pain.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Sorry for your pain, sending you love