Venting I envy those who managed to cease existing on their own terms

[FuneralCry]

They are the true fortunate ones to me as now they are at peace and are eternally free from all suffering. I admire those who managed to ctb in this society where it's cruelly made so inaccessible, I really do envy how they had access to a method they felt confident in and were able to free themselves from having the ability to suffer.

In fact I only see those who no longer exist as being truly fortunate as there are no disadvantages to not existing, only the peace of non-existence is desirable to me. I see no value in prolonging meaningless suffering as much as possible, in fact I'd always prefer to not exist and I'd always see it as better that this existence disappears into nothingness.

For me ceasing to exist is only something positive as it solves every problem and means finding peace from the burden of existing as a human, I envy those who managed to ctb as existence is no longer their problem anymore and instead all is forgotten about. The fact that there is no limit as to how much one can suffer as long as they are trapped in this futile existence is why only the thought of no longer existing comforts me, the only ones I could ever envy are those who are sleeping eternally. Having access to a peaceful suicide method would be self care to me, I see suicide as the way to find safety from suffering, for me suicide is suffering prevention.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I envy these people too. However, I don't envy them the most as there's another group which I envy even more. I envy those who were never born the most as these are the people who never had to suffer to begin with whereas those who ctb did suffer during their lives, though they did prevent themselves from years of pointless suffering by suicide.

As you say, those who no longer exist are fortunate and it's impossible to disagree with that

 

[divinemistress36]

I admire their bravery

 

[Rational man]

And yet some of the people who ceased on their terms ceased in the most brutal ways, due to desperation I think. Just recently, a young couple ceased nearby at the Cliffside..It was a terrible story. You say you ' envy' but of course when we cease, we are no more, we dont exist to experience peace. These poetic thoughts are no longer applied. We live and then we cease to live.

 

[Doemu]

I really hope you can find the peace in your own way. I'm jealous too, of the one's that success, so I perfectly understand you. Hope the best for you.