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“my sin, my soul”
- Mar 30, 2023
- 86
my life isnt even that bad, yet i still want to die? why? i feel like im selfish for always wanting more, i want what other people have.
it was results day today and i see all my friends posting their university offers, im happy for them but a large part of me is jealous.
why couldnt that have been me?
my best friend is going into an apprenticeship, others have gotten into their dream university and im here wasting my life away infront of a screen.
i worked so hard in school, i always got the best grades, but why did it end up like this for me? why am i stuck doing a course i dont even know if ill enjoy?
we all went to the same school, we all put in effort, but why am i the only one being left behind?
you know whats worse? the fact that i know this isnt the end of the world, yeah if i fuck up i can always try again. but frankly, im just lazy. i dont even want to put in the effort and try. why couldnt everything be perfect from the start?
i understand that this is just part of life and that nothing is perfect, but im just so tired of it.
gosh even if school did go well, what then? i get a job and just mindlessly work till im 60?
its not like i have any goals or aspirations to work towards. im just not ready to die yet, which is ironic, since i want to die as young as possible.
i really just wish i had more motivation to do better for myself. instead, all i do is cry about my problems. although i dont even want to put in any effort to change, theres nothing i want to live for anyway.
it was results day today and i see all my friends posting their university offers, im happy for them but a large part of me is jealous.
why couldnt that have been me?
my best friend is going into an apprenticeship, others have gotten into their dream university and im here wasting my life away infront of a screen.
i worked so hard in school, i always got the best grades, but why did it end up like this for me? why am i stuck doing a course i dont even know if ill enjoy?
we all went to the same school, we all put in effort, but why am i the only one being left behind?
you know whats worse? the fact that i know this isnt the end of the world, yeah if i fuck up i can always try again. but frankly, im just lazy. i dont even want to put in the effort and try. why couldnt everything be perfect from the start?
i understand that this is just part of life and that nothing is perfect, but im just so tired of it.
gosh even if school did go well, what then? i get a job and just mindlessly work till im 60?
its not like i have any goals or aspirations to work towards. im just not ready to die yet, which is ironic, since i want to die as young as possible.
i really just wish i had more motivation to do better for myself. instead, all i do is cry about my problems. although i dont even want to put in any effort to change, theres nothing i want to live for anyway.