I ended a relationship with someone that always caused arguments with me, and made me distressed. Yet I feel remorse?

[Rocinante]

I had befriended someone because we could relate to each other due to our circumstances. But the more id reveal of myself the more they'd use me, seeing as I was vulnerable. There was always comments to get under my skin and make me feel insecure, or guilt for something I didn't do. I would always address this, rather than get pissed, but they'd tell me I'm getting upset over nothing or that I "misinterpret", and that wasn't his intentions. It came to a point recently where I was tired with his bullshit and called him out on that, and as soon as I did our "friendship" concluded? I can't help but feel like I was someone this person used for validation. Someone they could speak to when they wanted to, whenever they were lonely. It was the longest lasting friendship I had,

Others tried to tell me I this wasn't a friendship if the aforementioned person always caused problems for me and made me depressed, but I bought into the lie every time that I was losing my head over nothing. I can't tell if this person was just a cuck and couldn't take accountability for their actions, or if I'm in the wrong. Nothing makes sense anymore. At the end of the day I was just a piece of trash and a loser. The consequences had to catch up with me someday, I would always push things too far. Maybe I did take everything to seriously, like the quote goes " you're either with me or you're against me". I was looking for things to be offended by. If we disagreed I assumed he hated me. At the end of the day I'm the only person that has to look myself in the mirror. Nobody else's has to experience what I feel when they make me feel down, and only I can hold myself accountable for my actions. No one will ever be able to understand me. I'm a pariah.

It feels freeing to accept my true feelings and not be obligated to this person. It's almost like I was forcing myself to stay friends with him. I ruined everything, I was a terrible person.

 

[Mirrory Me]

It sounds like he wasn't a very considerate person, that he doesn't have the same type of experiences

If it feels toxic to be with him, maybe you're better off alone. There are people who can take you seriously.

 

[Rocinante]

It sounds like he wasn't a very considerate person, that he doesn't have the same type of experiences

If it feels toxic to be with him, maybe you're better off alone. There are people who can take you seriously.

I failed to see how I'm wrong for calling him out when they'd Always find a way to attack me

 

[starrvingstar]

it sounds like he was manipulating you which would make your guilt stronger but you are not in the wrong worry about yourself over anything you dont owe anyone friendship

 

[Teikoku]

I have quite a bit of experience with similar toxic/argumentative people. It sounds like the narcissistic personality trait. When you first meet them, they will make you feel special and the friendship happens instantly. That's the first red flag, because in most cases friendships take a while to grow and bond.

As you get to know them, any personal things you tell them, you can be sure that later on during arguments these most personal things will be brought up to annoy you. They are very good at finding out which buttons to press to annoy you the most.

The only thing you can do is sever contact with them and hope that you drift apart. That's hard though because they don't take no for an answer and they will try and make you feel guilty or say that you can't survive without them.

The one positive thing about meeting them is that you will eventually learn to recognise red flags more easily so you will know to make excuses rather than spending time with them.

 

[Rocinante]

Garbage earth. It's over