I don't want to want to die.

[storeboughtisfine]

I want to want to live so badly. I need to get out of this hole. I need people to talk to about these things because I can't burden my friends or family with this. I just can't. It hurts.

 

[hiddenbpd]

Hell is this ever relatable.
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. Wanting to live, but feeling unable to is a different kind of hell.

 

[storeboughtisfine]

Hell is this ever relatable.
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. Wanting to live, but feeling unable to is a different kind of hell.

God is it ever. I get moments of peace every now and then, but everything is just so difficult.

 

[UsagiDrop]

I love your profile picture, haha.

If you want to live, you deserve to live. I am sorry that things are so bad that they're impeding on that will to live, so much so that you're on a forum like this. I hope that things get better, that you find something to live for. Sometimes we want to live desperately and just can't find anything to cling to, so opting out of living seems like the only thing. I believe you can get better and get out of the hole, I really do.

I want to encourage you to reach out to your friends and family anyway, if you can. I can relate to feeling like a burden or a killjoy. But they care for and love you, so I would believe that they naturally would want to help you in any way that they can, if they can. Even if that means they can only hear you out. A lot of people on here will hear you out, but nothing can beat a loving and caring network of people who can be around you and support you in person imo. And maybe, in one of those hard conversations with a loved one, you can find the spark you need to keep living.

 

[storeboughtisfine]

I love your profile picture, haha.

If you want to live, you deserve to live. I am sorry that things are so bad that they're impeding on that will to live, so much so that you're on a forum like this. I hope that things get better, that you find something to live for. Sometimes we want to live desperately and just can't find anything to cling to, so opting out of living seems like the only thing. I believe you can get better and get out of the hole, I really do.

I want to encourage you to reach out to your friends and family anyway, if you can. I can relate to feeling like a burden or a killjoy. But they care for and love you, so I would believe that they naturally would want to help you in any way that they can, if they can. Even if that means they can only hear you out. A lot of people on here will hear you out, but nothing can beat a loving and caring network of people who can be around you and support you in person imo. And maybe, in one of those hard conversations with a loved one, you can find the spark you need to keep living.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm just at the end of my rope. I'm so tired. I'm so, so, so tired.

 

[UsagiDrop]

I'm just at the end of my rope. I'm so tired. I'm so, so, so tired.

I understand, and I wish I could do something to help. But I do believe in you, and I hope that you will reach out to one of your friends. I'm a ghost floating around on the internet, but if you can't bring it up to friends and family and ever find yourself in dire need to talk to someone, I'm a message away. I hope that tomorrow is a better day.

 

[HarmonicScreams]

I feel the same but I have nobody that I can rely on. The loneliness is burdensome. If you ever need someone to chat with about anything I am here.

 

[EmpathyMinded]

If you need to talk, I'm here to listen and not to judge. In my case at least never take any delayed replies as not caring, just have work and sleep to juggle a bit but I'll always try to reply as quickly as I can.

 

[storeboughtisfine]

Thank you guys so much.

Once I get access to DMs, mine will be open...

 

[hhmmmm]

You deserve to live and I believe in you I can relate to the burden part a lot especially with family. You are not alone. I hope you have a good rest of your day. Take care!

 

[Paradise]

Suicidal thoights are like any other thoughts - not coming to you out of your free will. It can be torture, and maybe you should ignore them/accept them idk. Just letting you know you're not alone in this and I hope you'll keep going <3

 

[EmpathyMinded]

Hey, nothing profound to say just wanted to say I was thinking about you after yesterday and hope today is going alright for you. You're not forgotten.

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

great news! if you want to live, if you want to move forward, you absolutely deserve to. if you want help, you gotta get the words out though. start by vaguely alluding to the thoughts to f/f and work your way up from there. if someone asks if you're okay, try to bring yourself to say no.
good luck.