Venting I don't want to do this anymore

[lammergeier]

I've just spent the last four hours trying to ctb and I've lost the will to die at this point. Failure after failure means that I'm better off just taking whatever hardships life throws at me. The pain from suspension is much more agonizing than anything else I have to deal with. I hope this can be the last time I attempt to ctb this year, as much as I dread tomorrow and the rest of November.

Some of you were there for me in that other thread I posted, I apologize for wasting your time. I have nothing to show for anything I said. If any of you attempt to ctb, I just hope you have much better luck than I have. I wish everyone on this site the best.

 

[longingforrelease]

I've just spent the last four hours trying to ctb and I've lost the will to die at this point. Failure after failure means that I'm better off just taking whatever hardships life throws at me. The pain from suspension is much more agonizing than anything else I have to deal with. I hope this can be the last time I attempt to ctb this year, as much as I dread tomorrow and the rest of November.

Some of you were there for me in that other thread I posted, I apologize for wasting your time. I have nothing to show for anything I said. If any of you attempt to ctb, I just hope you have much better luck than I have. I wish everyone on this site the best.

hey there. I'm new here but I don't get the sense that the only objective of this site is to secure your suicide. If you've gained some new insights - by whatever process - that lead you away from suicide I can't imagine anyone thinks you have anything to apologize for. There might even be, I suspect, some happiness about that. I say that because whenever I read threads from or about those who ctb, the people still here often express sadness at the loss of one of our fellow travellers. (Of course, there are also wishes for his/her peace, etc., but i've noted a good deal of sadness too. So I'm happy for you friend if you think you have found a new way of thinking. I wish you peace.