Venting I don't /want/ to die, but living is not an option.

[silentcicada]

Is this the case for anyone else?

Last year I thought it would be a good idea to start a new medical procedure to treat my life-long depression. The procedure ended up mentally handicapping me, causing severe memory loss and making it difficult to learn new information. I'm pretty sure my IQ dropped by ~50. Doctors keep downplaying this, my old psychiatrist telling me I shouldn't go for disability since "I should be okay enough to work" and other doctors saying that I got lucky, that I'm not as bad as they've seen from this procedure. (Lucky me I guess?) Meanwhile all of my work experience is null because of the memory loss. I'd have to be retrained and learn everything from scratch, even then I'd be a serious liability. I can't even go to college because of how fucked my brain is.

I'm broken. Not a single doctor has valuable advice, I've been told time and time again that nothing will help except for "exercise, good sleep, and healthy food." I'm completely fucked and I'll live life as a NEET until I eventually CTB.

So what's your story?

 

[BlazingBob]

I don't want to ctb either but multiple debilitating chronic illnesses have made it impossible to make a living and I'm going to be homeless soon because I'm going broke. I feel like shit all the time and have zero quality of life.

I also had a treatment for depression backfire on me. I tried TMS and instead of helping my depression it made my anxiety go through the stratosphere. The psychiatrist said it can sometimes happen and sent me on my way with a bottle of Xanax, no refills. I haven't been the same since.

 

[Tionally]

what procedure was this it I can ask...?
and I'm sorry you have to deal with this.. it's so unfair that the doctors caused you problems and now they're downplaying it.
I hope whatever happens you'll feel better somehow

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Is this the case for anyone else?

Last year I thought it would be a good idea to start a new medical procedure to treat my life-long depression. The procedure ended up mentally handicapping me, causing severe memory loss and making it difficult to learn new information. I'm pretty sure my IQ dropped by ~50. Doctors keep downplaying this, my old psychiatrist telling me I shouldn't go for disability since "I should be okay enough to work" and other doctors saying that I got lucky, that I'm not as bad as they've seen from this procedure. (Lucky me I guess?) Meanwhile all of my work experience is null because of the memory loss. I'd have to be retrained and learn everything from scratch, even then I'd be a serious liability. I can't even go to college because of how fucked my brain is.

I'm broken. Not a single doctor has valuable advice, I've been told time and time again that nothing will help except for "exercise, good sleep, and healthy food." I'm completely fucked and I'll live life as a NEET until I eventually CTB.

So what's your story?

What medical procedure did you have?

 

[Forever Sleep]

This is terrible! Did they warn you of the risks before you had it? They sound so callous and dismissive. Don't suppose you can sue them?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

This is so awful when people seek help and their health gets fucked up. I'm sorry that it went so wrong for you and your psych doc just dismissed it. I hope you find peace.

I also don't really want to die but life circumstances may require it bc of declining life quality after a big failure in life and recovery almost impossible.

 

[silentcicada]

what procedure was this it I can ask...?
and I'm sorry you have to deal with this.. it's so unfair that the doctors caused you problems and now they're downplaying it.
I hope whatever happens you'll feel better somehow

Electroshock therapy. (ECT) I just wish they would be honest and say, "yeah, you're going to be like this forever. Sorry! Here's a couple hundred thousand from SSRI." haha. Being rich would make this slightly more bearable.

What medical procedure did you have?

ECT or electroshock therapy.

I don't want to ctb either but multiple debilitating chronic illnesses have made it impossible to make a living and I'm going to be homeless soon because I'm going broke. I feel like shit all the time and have zero quality of life.

I also had a treatment for depression backfire on me. I tried TMS and instead of helping my depression it made my anxiety go through the stratosphere. The psychiatrist said it can sometimes happen and sent me on my way with a bottle of Xanax, no refills. I haven't been the same since.

I had no idea TMS could that! I was told that TMS had virtually no side effects. I'm so sorry that happened.

This is so awful when people seek help and their health gets fucked up. I'm sorry that it went so wrong for you and your psych doc just dismissed it. I hope you find peace.

I also don't really want to die but life circumstances may require it bc of declining life quality after a big failure in life and recovery almost impossible.

I'm here if you ever want to talk about it.