I don't want to call people by their first name anymore.

[Insomniac]

So the natural progression of my aversion to feelings of closeness is that I don't feel like calling people by their first name anymore. Even close people like my sister. and I don't want to call my parents "mom" and "dad". I'm disgusted by so much familiarity. I wish I could start using "Miss" or Mr. followed by the last name to address family and friends.

I also no longer want to use "tu" ever. Only "vous" sounds appropriate now.

why can't I be and act formal with everyone? my goal is to distance myself emotionally from everyone as much as humanly possible and become like a robot.

People on r/relationshipadvices told me that me doing so would be "disrespectful" and "passiveagressive" towards my family.

I don't agree.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Well thats a first…

 

[Gsvko]

I used to call my parents by their name, "mum" and "dad" gave me such an ick. Ughh. I've also never said "brother". They didn't have those roles. My father felt like some younger neighbour and I saw my mother as my daughter? My brother was a father in my head. So first name thing worked for me/us. Using "vous" form never crossed my mind because that implies respect lol.

 

[myopybyproxy]

yes - ive always felt a bit weird calling people by their name

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

refer to people as GLASHNOK THE DESTROYER

 

[summers]

Sorry, I couldn't resist...

 

[NumbItAll]

yes - ive always felt a bit weird calling people by their name

Yeah it feels weird to me too lol. I usually just approach them and talk to them so it's unnecessary. Using a name is a last resort.

 

[completely-done]

yes - ive always felt a bit weird calling people by their name

same here. If i'm already talking to them then why am I using their first name? in my experience, who are talking directly to me and use my first name in the conversation usually have a manipulative agenda.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I think you can totally do it if you just try to explain why you're doing it. If they care, they'd understand and if they don't, then screw their opinion, they can think you're passive-agressive all they want. It's not at all disrespectful, although your friends and family might be upset about your desire to emotionally distance yourself. But you don't owe anyone closeness, it's your choice and as long as they know it's not because you dislike them as people you're not hurting anyone.

 

[Lost Magic]

 

[Julgran]

Go with what @Nessie wrote - as long as they don't suspect you of acting strangely and possibly even preventing you from accessing your end-of-life method. I mean, your sudden change of behaviour could be a cause for alarm, for some people.

 

[myopybyproxy]

same here. If i'm already talking to them then why am I using their first name? in my experience, who are talking directly to me and use my first name in the conversation usually have a manipulative agenda.

yep - that, or they're about to tell you something you don't want to hear. addressing someone directly by their name is a alarm bell right up there with 'we need to talk'. bad vibes all around whether i'm on the speaking or listening end.

only time i will call someone by their name is when i'm trying to get their attention and there are others around who would mistakenly think i'm talking to them if i didn't specify, or it's noisy.

 

[stygal]

I don't like it when others use my first name...wish I just had been assigned a number at birth.

 

[lucid]

I've been feeling this a lot, I just can't bring myself to do it anymore. I don't think it should be regarded as passive-aggressive either, and personally disrespectful is pushing it. We may as well be living in a world without names honestly.

 

[Snake of Eden]

You can call me Eden. I dont mind

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

But if you call me "Fuck Up" I might find that rude.

 

[lostundead]

I also no longer want to use "tu" ever. Only "vous" sounds appropriate

Only people from cultivated countries understand that seperation

 

[Insomniac]

Only people from cultivated countries understand that seperation

*cultured

I agree