Venting I don’t want to be 24

[sserafim]

My 24th birthday is coming up and I don't want to reach it. I joined this site around my birthday last year and I can't believe that almost a year has passed. I still feel like 17 mentally but I'm almost 24 now. It makes me sad and fills me with dread and anxiety. I wish that I could stop time and stay in my early 20s forever. I never even wanted to live past 18 anyways. I hate how time goes forward against your will. Time is going by so fast, and I can't catch up, nor do I want to. I wish that I could just fade out of existence without having to ctb. It would've been like I never even existed at all

 

[timetodie24]

I can really relate , my 24th is coming up, always thought i'd be long gone years before this and planning to ctb before my birthday but getting closer and still here

 

[sserafim]

I can really relate , my 24th is coming up, always thought i'd be long gone years before this and planning to ctb before my birthday but getting closer and still here

I just hate how powerless I am against time. Time keeps moving on and no one can stop it. I wish that I could freeze time and live in this moment forever

 

[tsykoais]

would it be offensive to wish you a happy early birthday? not that the event is supposed to be happy i just hope you have a peaceful day. if it is my apologies but i can relate too, the thought of being over 30 scares me and the fact that the average human lifespan is more than 2x that terrifies me.

 

[ropearoundatree]

It is very hard growing up, in this day & age - or any, maybe? I know when I was in my 20's I was feeling much the same way. With expectations placed on me, both internally & externally. It was soul-crushing, to say the least. And I more or less just disintegrated, and nearly to the point of complete & total shut-down; or "self-destruction."

About the only thing that happened, 'positively,' for me - & this isn't going to help you much, now - was that when my 30's rolled around. Things got a whole lot better. And stayed that way, for quite awhile. Things calmed down, I cared less. And the reduced pressure & whatnot, stopped the crushing feeling I'd always had both from within me, and without.

I think I may be still doing well, or much better now: were it not for some extra-ordinary things, that are out of my control.
Anyway, just here to say that I hear you. And that I can understand how it is you are feeling, I think. Of course, everybody's got their own path. And no two are very much alike. But hopefully, your experience can improve is I guess all I'm saying. Even though it maybe feels... like it won't ever, or that it is impossible.

 

[Gangrel]

I know how it is friend. I feel like a teenager even though i'm 26 already. If it comforts you nothing much changes...

I just hope the concept of time does not exist when i ctb.

 

[sserafim]

would it be offensive to wish you a happy early birthday? not that the event is supposed to be happy i just hope you have a peaceful day. if it is my apologies but i can relate too, the thought of being over 30 scares me and the fact that the average human lifespan is more than 2x that terrifies me.

Thanks, I guess. I don't want to live beyond 25 and I can't imagine being 30 or above. It scares me and makes me anxious. Tbh I just want to be a kid again. I didn't even expect to live this long. I never wanted to live beyond 18 (because I never wanted to grow up or become an adult). Frankly, I feel like the average human lifespan is way too long. I don't want to live out my full life; I just want to die young. I don't want to get old or live out the next stages of my life.

"I saw the years of my life spaced along a road in the form of telephone poles threaded together by wires. I counted one, two, three... nineteen telephone poles, and then the wires dangled into space, and try as I would, I couldn't see a single pole beyond the nineteenth."

This is me

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

My 24th birthday is coming up and I don't want to reach it. I joined this site around my birthday last year and I can't believe that almost a year has passed. I still feel like 17 mentally but I'm almost 24 now. It makes me sad and fills me with dread and anxiety. I wish that I could stop time and stay in my early 20s forever. I never even wanted to live past 18 anyways. I hate how time goes forward against your will. Time is going by so fast, and I can't catch up, nor do I want to. I wish that I could just fade out of existence without having to ctb. It would've been like I never even existed at all

Time passes by faster than humans realize.

 

[Z-A]

I relate to feeling like a teenager. My thoughts and hobbies have stayed with me, and almost nothing has changed except the passage of time itself.

 

[hxtel]

Holy shit I relate so much to this is mental. I've been stuck mentally 17 and I turned 24 in March. All people my age group and younger are so far away from me in terms of maturity and progress in life and it fills me with panic. I also wish I could just press a button and im gone, not just dead but erase every trace that I was ever here in peoples memories and physical remains.

 

[Morte]

It's not the passage of time that scares me, it's my lack of progress. Imagine reaching 30 and having nothing, with the mentality of a kid. Its one of the worst fate life could give you.

 

[yxmux]

I'm intellectually a mature adult but emotionally an infant.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

In my case, I hope I die before I reach 20. I can't, nor do I want to, deal with life anymore. I just want to be dead so that I can no longer deal with the burden of being a human. Being a human is way too exhausting and tiring. There's nothing good about being a human.

Time passes by faster than humans realize.

Sometimes it does but, other times, it feels like time is passing by way too slowly

 

[xulam]

I feel exactly like that. living is tiring but so is finding an easy method to ctb. i wish i never existed in the first place, so that i wouldn't have to stop existing now. I didn't think i would turn 16 and now i'll soon be 19. I hate that I need to do something with my life. I don't want to do anything. I don't know why i haven't killed myself yet.

 

[Unknown21]

I don't want to be 22 either, that's sad and depressing.