Venting i dont want things to get better and prefer death

[unrealtournament]

for a majority of the time I'll be depressed thinking i am doomed, and that there is nothing i can fundamentally change about myself no matter what, however when people make me realize my mindset is what holds me back, i begin to cringe at the idea of bettering myself and no longer suffering.
i dont want to improve because some things cant be erased no matter what, in 10 years i could be a different man and it still wouldn't change some what I've done. no point in changing if your past will hold you back

 

[youpi]

What did you do?

 

[unrealtournament]

What did you do?

some things which i personally regret so much I'll never let go of, even if most of them are insignificant in the real world, i will never live them down im my head and will be forever haunted by my past

 

[worthIess]

attachment is the source of all suffering