sulvumnolo
Member
- Jan 31, 2026
- 11
It's been over a month since the breakup, and I can't cope any better than day one.
Starting around December 15th, a day after our anniversary, she began distancing herself. Up until that point, our relationship had been perfect. We never fought. We planned our future together. We talked for hours every single day.
She was my best friend. The closest I've ever been to a person. I didn't even know that kind of closeness was possible until her.
Then things started falling apart. She pulled away, and I tried to be supportive at first. She told me her mental health was bad, that she might even need to go to a facility. After a week of silence, my mind went crazy. I texted her, telling her I was here, that I'd give her anything she needed, even space. All I asked for was a couple of minutes on the phone each day. I told her that just hearing her voice would calm me down.
That call never came.
After about two weeks, I snapped. I didn't yell or be mean, but I told her exactly how I felt that she wasn't holding up her end. We finally called and talked. I thought it was productive. She apologized and said she knew she needed to do better.
But nothing changed. The next week was hell.
She made up excuses every day for why she couldn't talk. I tried so hard to be patient. But seeing her constantly interacting with friends while ignoring me made me feel like her "mental health" wasn't the whole story.
She ghosted me one night, then later admitted she was on the phone comforting a friend. Like... really? I've been begging you to say anything about us, about our relationship, for weeks. I accepted that you didn't have the capacity to talk and yet you do for someone else?
The week before Christmas, I lost it. I went off on her. Again, not yelling, but being curt and telling her how much she was hurting me.
On Christmas Eve, she promised we'd call. She ignored me. I called over and over, freaking out, and she started hanging up on me. I lost all control. I accused her of cheating. I told her she was being horrible. I argued, called her names, and threatened to break up out of pure anger.
She never gave me a reason why she changed. She just shut down. We clashed.
But the worst part is what came next. We agreed to take a week apart after the argument.
That week was the absolute worst week of my life. I was having dozens of panic attacks every single day. I didn't sleep all week. Just crying. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Trying to figure out how to fix it.
That Friday, I called her. She had changed her number.
No explanation. No conversation. We went from talking about getting married and being best friends to her not even wanting to answer a text. Because of a stalker in her past, she knows how to disappear. She changed her number and locked down her socials.
I will literally never see or hear about her again. No explanation, no closure.
I'm crying so hard writing this. Where is my best friend? Oh my fucking God, I can't take the pain. I'll hate myself forever. I destroyed any chance we had on Christmas Eve.
My mind doesn't know where to land. Did she find someone else? Was her mental health really the main cause, and I just made it worse? Did she just fall out of love?
I can't take this anymore. That week broke me. I still wake up every day having panic attacks, feeling like I can't breathe.
We were so similar. We were practically the same person. Same sense of humor. Same introverts. Same deep feelings of pain at how cruel humans can be. Yet she hurt me so fucking bad.
I can't live wondering if she just immediately went on to someone new. Are they sharing those same deep conversations and intimacy we did? What the actual fuck.
I'm not a teenager inexperienced with life. No offense to them, but I'm 27. I've seen some horrible shit. I saw my best friend murdered.
But this? This is by far the worst thing I've ever been through.
I don't want to move on. I don't want to heal. I want my wife back. I want to know what I did wrong.
Starting around December 15th, a day after our anniversary, she began distancing herself. Up until that point, our relationship had been perfect. We never fought. We planned our future together. We talked for hours every single day.
She was my best friend. The closest I've ever been to a person. I didn't even know that kind of closeness was possible until her.
Then things started falling apart. She pulled away, and I tried to be supportive at first. She told me her mental health was bad, that she might even need to go to a facility. After a week of silence, my mind went crazy. I texted her, telling her I was here, that I'd give her anything she needed, even space. All I asked for was a couple of minutes on the phone each day. I told her that just hearing her voice would calm me down.
That call never came.
After about two weeks, I snapped. I didn't yell or be mean, but I told her exactly how I felt that she wasn't holding up her end. We finally called and talked. I thought it was productive. She apologized and said she knew she needed to do better.
But nothing changed. The next week was hell.
She made up excuses every day for why she couldn't talk. I tried so hard to be patient. But seeing her constantly interacting with friends while ignoring me made me feel like her "mental health" wasn't the whole story.
She ghosted me one night, then later admitted she was on the phone comforting a friend. Like... really? I've been begging you to say anything about us, about our relationship, for weeks. I accepted that you didn't have the capacity to talk and yet you do for someone else?
The week before Christmas, I lost it. I went off on her. Again, not yelling, but being curt and telling her how much she was hurting me.
On Christmas Eve, she promised we'd call. She ignored me. I called over and over, freaking out, and she started hanging up on me. I lost all control. I accused her of cheating. I told her she was being horrible. I argued, called her names, and threatened to break up out of pure anger.
She never gave me a reason why she changed. She just shut down. We clashed.
But the worst part is what came next. We agreed to take a week apart after the argument.
That week was the absolute worst week of my life. I was having dozens of panic attacks every single day. I didn't sleep all week. Just crying. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Trying to figure out how to fix it.
That Friday, I called her. She had changed her number.
No explanation. No conversation. We went from talking about getting married and being best friends to her not even wanting to answer a text. Because of a stalker in her past, she knows how to disappear. She changed her number and locked down her socials.
I will literally never see or hear about her again. No explanation, no closure.
I'm crying so hard writing this. Where is my best friend? Oh my fucking God, I can't take the pain. I'll hate myself forever. I destroyed any chance we had on Christmas Eve.
My mind doesn't know where to land. Did she find someone else? Was her mental health really the main cause, and I just made it worse? Did she just fall out of love?
I can't take this anymore. That week broke me. I still wake up every day having panic attacks, feeling like I can't breathe.
We were so similar. We were practically the same person. Same sense of humor. Same introverts. Same deep feelings of pain at how cruel humans can be. Yet she hurt me so fucking bad.
I can't live wondering if she just immediately went on to someone new. Are they sharing those same deep conversations and intimacy we did? What the actual fuck.
I'm not a teenager inexperienced with life. No offense to them, but I'm 27. I've seen some horrible shit. I saw my best friend murdered.
But this? This is by far the worst thing I've ever been through.
I don't want to move on. I don't want to heal. I want my wife back. I want to know what I did wrong.
