Discussion I don't understand this feeling

[HopefulSleep]

The best way to describe it would be that it feels like burning but mentally, it is weird, I feel like this most of the time, I can't really explain it.
No matter how much I try to distract myself it won't end, only downers make it go away but sadly I can't always be on opioids and gabaergics.
I don't know if this is just depression being bad, I don't understand it.
It gets worse if I am not distracted and it is at it's worst when someone hurts me or I am in a situation that I feel uncomfortable.
This feeling started when my father died but it got worse when I realized he abused me mentally but I don't understand why I feel like this then.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be so awful what you go through, to me it's so dreadful how there is so much suffering in existing, existence is just too cruel, but anyway best wishes.