C
CosmicVoid
Member
- Jan 20, 2021
- 18
I woke up in the middle of the night today unable to control my right arm and feeling that it was completely numb. Not a big deal I thought: I laid on my arm, restricted the blood flow and as a result it fell asleep; happens every other night to me. I shook it off, massaged it with my left hand and it was back to normal in like 20 seconds. After that I realized something: what if I tried to ctb, failed and after I woke up my body would be permanently damaged. Losing control of one of your limbs is a terrifying experience and a failed attempt poses a much greater risk than that. There's so much that can go wrong and in the end you'll end up horribly crippled. Why must it be this way? Why must I be a prisoner of this body: hating existence, but being too afraid to die, or rather being afraid of the consequences of trying to die and not succeeding.