Venting I don't think my friends care about me

[HappySisyphus]

I have been thinking for a bit, I have always had low self-esteem and tend to believe people dislike me but I don't think this is just me sabotaging myself, when I wrongly thought my friends dislike me I would eventually come to my sense and realise that didn't make sense, but that has not happened yet, I don't think my current friends dislike me either, I just think they are indifferent to me, this hurts a lot obviously as I care a lot about some of them, but I also find some comfort in it, as if they don't care about me it means they don't expect anything from me, and is kind of relieving.
I think what made me realise this is one time, not long ago, where I told a friend of mine how bad I was feeling, that I cut myself that night, that I wanted to kill myself and she just stopped answering at some point and the next day she just sent me an instagram reel like nothing happened, I think a lot about that, at first I was angry, but now I realise that wasn't born out of any malice, it was just indifference, she just didn't care enough about me to keep answering, and that's fine, I'm not entitled to be liked by people, I think I just expect and hope people to like me, and convince myself they do when they actually don't

 

[dialogos]

I have been thinking for a bit, I have always had low self-esteem and tend to believe people dislike me but I don't think this is just me sabotaging myself, when I wrongly thought my friends dislike me I would eventually come to my sense and realise that didn't make sense, but that has not happened yet, I don't think my current friends dislike me either, I just think they are indifferent to me, this hurts a lot obviously as I care a lot about some of them, but I also find some comfort in it, as if they don't care about me it means they don't expect anything from me, and is kind of relieving.
I think what made me realise this is one time, not long ago, where I told a friend of mine how bad I was feeling, that I cut myself that night, that I wanted to kill myself and she just stopped answering at some point and the next day she just sent me an instagram reel like nothing happened, I think a lot about that, at first I was angry, but now I realise that wasn't born out of any malice, it was just indifference, she just didn't care enough about me to keep answering, and that's fine, I'm not entitled to be liked by people, I think I just expect and hope people to like me, and convince myself they do when they actually don't

I told a friend of mine how bad I was feeling, that I cut myself that night, that I wanted to kill myself and she just stopped answering at some point and the next day she just sent me an instagram reel like nothing happened

Some people don't know how to react, don't have the experience to deal with this, some are afraid.
I also got to tell you, good friends are not easy to find. Most people are just chatmates, all talk, no action.. I'm sorry what you're going thru is hard.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just don't believe that other people can be relied on after all, most people are too self centred to ever care, I'm not even surprised that those people are acting in such a way. But anyway best wishes.

 

[dump224477]

I have been thinking for a bit, I have always had low self-esteem and tend to believe people dislike me but I don't think this is just me sabotaging myself, when I wrongly thought my friends dislike me I would eventually come to my sense and realise that didn't make sense, but that has not happened yet, I don't think my current friends dislike me either, I just think they are indifferent to me, this hurts a lot obviously as I care a lot about some of them, but I also find some comfort in it, as if they don't care about me it means they don't expect anything from me, and is kind of relieving.
I think what made me realise this is one time, not long ago, where I told a friend of mine how bad I was feeling, that I cut myself that night, that I wanted to kill myself and she just stopped answering at some point and the next day she just sent me an instagram reel like nothing happened, I think a lot about that, at first I was angry, but now I realise that wasn't born out of any malice, it was just indifference, she just didn't care enough about me to keep answering, and that's fine, I'm not entitled to be liked by people, I think I just expect and hope people to like me, and convince myself they do when they actually don't

you deserve better friends