Venting i dont think ill be able to ctb in time

[rott3navocado]

I thought I had a backup if it wasnt able to aquire SN. I still have a noose from one of my previous attempts but its over at a house i cant go to. am I just going to live in misery now on? everytime I thought about ctb and my eventual plan I felt happy for once, now I feel unaccomplished. I feel like the only time I will do is when I make deep cuts in my skin I guess ill be gong deeper now.