I don’t think I really want to die

[rosalind3737]

I think about taking my life all the time. I have for the past few years. I had a half assed attempt at one point also. I don't think I really want to die but it seems like the only option.

I've done so much therapy, inpatient, phps, Cbt, dbt, cpt, ifs, EMDR, Ketamine, residential. Nothing has made me feel better. DBT actually made me feel worse with its assumptions that you're a behavior problem if you are hurting. I'm just in so much emotional pain. I don't know what to do anymore. I've did it all. I'm sure my family, friends, and treatment providers are tired of me and wish I would just get it over with.

I guess I just wanted to vent to some people that might understand what it feels like to want to die all the time but maybe not really since surviving is so damn exhausting.

 

[Gangrel]

I think most people don't really wanna die, it's just the lesser of two evils.

 

[hendrix1989]

Hi, I know exactly how you feel. With the exception of the last year, my life was actually pretty good so i know what happiness, certain memories I hold onto make me feel like they can be recreated. I've tried everything too, in patient, meds (currently on 4 different types), therapy, help lines : I just feel like I've exhausted all help and that, contrary to what they say, help is not available any more.

I hope you can cling onto that part of you that wants to live and make it through. Sound like you have the strength to persevere

 

[rosalind3737]

Hi, I know exactly how you feel. With the exception of the last year, my life was actually pretty good so i know what happiness, certain memories I hold onto make me feel like they can be recreated. I've tried everything too, in patient, meds (currently on 4 different types), therapy, help lines : I just feel like I've exhausted all help and that, contrary to what they say, help is not available any more.

I hope you can cling onto that part of you that wants to live and make it through. Sound like you have the strength to persevere

Oh yeah they always say help is out there until you actually start using the help and it's not working. Thank you for that last part. I never think about how hard I've really tried proves how strong I am.

 

[iamgoddamnlost]

I think about taking my life all the time. I have for the past few years. I had a half assed attempt at one point also. I don't think I really want to die but it seems like the only option.

I've done so much therapy, inpatient, phps, Cbt, dbt, cpt, ifs, EMDR, Ketamine, residential. Nothing has made me feel better. DBT actually made me feel worse with its assumptions that you're a behavior problem if you are hurting. I'm just in so much emotional pain. I don't know what to do anymore. I've did it all. I'm sure my family, friends, and treatment providers are tired of me and wish I would just get it over with.

I guess I just wanted to vent to some people that might understand what it feels like to want to die all the time but maybe not really since surviving is so damn exhausting.

This happens I don't want to die but it seems like the only option

 

[emma99]

I believe suicide stems from experiencing insufferable pain
given that we are programmed to avoid pain at all costs.

Now does that mean every suicidal person is justified in wanting to CTB?
Well to answer that you would have to ask yourself what "justified" means

In the 1946 book titled Man's (mankind) Search for meaning
Viktor Frankl a Jewish doctor who had been in the concentration camps
stated that suffering was relative.

What this means is that you cant compare traumatic like for like.
Just because person A was able to get over x tramatic event
does not mean that person B will get over the same tramatic event.

There is a good podcast on youtube called
Why Do People Commit Suicide?