Venting i dont know

[shinitai-chan]

i really want to say it. i just discovered this website today, and i'm shocked that such a place has existed all this time. it's really hard to describe my feelings, but for me it feels like home. i keep scrolling through the other threads, and i feel a connection with most, if not all, of you. i feel so relieved and happy, even though i haven't felt happiness for a really long time — okay, that was a lie, i felt happiness a couple of months ago, when i was finally able to live alone and realized that nothing can stop me now from FINALLY being free of this world when i want to.
omg i know this is so stupid but i literally can't understand my feelings right now, i don't even want to post anything, don't want to stain something that i like so much with my disgusting self. i've felt like i've been alone for my entire life, this is literally the first time for me to feel like i am where i am supposed to be??sorry I'm writing all this after a sleepless night
i'm just happy now that i can spend my last days (i hope, because i'm literally kinda forced to ctb right now) here.

 

[ashen knight]

I only recently came across this site myself. I actually found out about it through a Wikipedia page on Google

 

[Ilostmytoast]

Glad you posted this it's not staining the website at all if anything it makes it better
I was looking through here once more too and it really does feel comforting as if you're not alone and you're around people that understand you like some people never did

Hope you continue being happy btw best of luck

 

[halfstay]

yeah it's a strange place, but oddly comforting. being suicidal is so isolating, and seen as such a dirty topic. so finding a place where people are just honest and allowed to talk about these things is very refreshing.

but as someone who also feels like a stain, I hope you know you're welcome here. I think we all feel out of place so we can just be out of place together.

I hope things get better for you friend. :,)

 

[shinitai-chan]

I only recently came across this site myself. I actually found out about it through a Wikipedia page on Google

i just searched suicide-related things for no particular reason and came across a video hating on this site... i'm so glad i found it

Glad you posted this it's not staining the website at all if anything it makes it better
I was looking through here once more too and it really does feel comforting as if you're not alone and you're around people that understand you like some people never did

Hope you continue being happy btw best of luck

thank you for your words...
yes, exactly, it's so comforting here..

yeah it's a strange place, but oddly comforting. being suicidal is so isolating, and seen as such a dirty topic. so finding a place where people are just honest and allowed to talk about these things is very refreshing.

but as someone who also feels like a stain, I hope you know you're welcome here. I think we all feel out of place so we can just be out of place together.

I hope things get better for you friend. :,)

i don't know, it just feels so bad and maybe even painful when i hear things like "you should live, for others, for yourself, everything will get better".. this way of thinking is literally everywhere on the internet and i was so surprised to find this site because of that
thank you so much, wishing you the best too

 

[ashen knight]

i just searched suicide-related things for no particular reason and came across a video hating on this site... i'm so glad i found it

thank you for your words...
yes, exactly, it's so comforting here..

i don't know, it just feels so bad and maybe even painful when i hear things like "you should live, for others, for yourself, everything will get better".. this way of thinking is literally everywhere on the internet and i was so surprised to find this site because of that
thank you so much, wishing you the best too

This is honestly fxcking hilarious. Maybe these people could actually 'save' more lives if they just kept their mouths shut

 

[shinitai-chan]

This is honestly fxcking hilarious. Maybe these people could actually 'save' more lives if they just kept their mouths shut

idk what's going on in their minds. is it wrong for people to support other people now? this makes me want to live in this world even less

 

[halfstay]

This is honestly fxcking hilarious. Maybe these people could actually 'save' more lives if they just kept their mouths shut

I'm pretty sure I know what video is being discussed here and it's actually been proven that right after it was uploaded, thousands joined the site en masse. specifically young people, as that was the target audience of the video.

that guy essentially posted a billboard for millions to see for SaSu.

i just searched suicide-related things for no particular reason and came across a video hating on this site... i'm so glad i found it

thank you for your words...
yes, exactly, it's so comforting here..

i don't know, it just feels so bad and maybe even painful when i hear things like "you should live, for others, for yourself, everything will get better".. this way of thinking is literally everywhere on the internet and i was so surprised to find this site because of that
thank you so much, wishing you the best too

I think it's almost a faith thing. they HAVE to believe things will get better because if they don't, they too will slip into despair.

my advice when browsing on here is just to be mindful and put all of the content you're consuming into perspective; that this is a forum of mentally ill people who may be flawed in their thinking just like anyone else.

I hope you can find comfort and community here and a safe place to share what you're going through. Just try not to get consumed by all the doom lol.

 

[shinitai-chan]

I think it's almost a faith thing. they HAVE to believe things will get better because if they don't, they too will slip into despair.

in my view, it's about egoism, when a person dies the world loses that person, not them. and yes, i think death is good (maybe because i've been wishing for it for a really long time?). after all, when a person dies, they will never feel suffering again, only those who remain will.

my advice when browsing on here is just to be mindful and put all of the content you're consuming into perspective; that this is a forum of mentally ill people who may be flawed in their thinking just like anyone else.

I hope you can find comfort and community here and a safe place to share what you're going through. Just try not to get consumed by all the doom lol.

honestly, i should've been dead a long time ago, and now i've finally placed myself (intentionally or not) in a situation where it would be better for me to die already than to keep living meaninglessly. i don't think anything here can consume me more than i'm already consumed by my own actions and endless self-hatred(am i mentally ill too? probably lol). i really appreciate your advice and kind words tho, thank you!