I don't know what to do anymore

[k75]

I've been trying to find a new therapist. My current one is a horrible, ineffective match. I realized a while back that I really need a specialist and not just a general therapist to talk to. But I'm having a really hard time getting one to see me. It's very discouraging and I'm about ready to give up.

I found a really great one and had a consultation that actually made me excited, and I left feeling like I might actually get help. And then the next day they called and said that it turns out they don't take my insurance and can't see me. But they said they would try to find someone that could that was suited to what I needed.

This felt pretty devastating, especially since I had said that I felt like this was my last chance to save myself. But a few days later they said that they thought they had found someone that would be good for me and gave me the information and said they'd already contacted them for me so I should call. And I did... But then it was just a repeat. They don't take my insurance. It seems like no competent private therapist will see me. It feels like the universe is just telling me to stop and give up and that there's no hope. And it feels like the harder I try, the bigger the roadblocks get.

I haven't been posting much recently because I was just trying to focus on getting better. I feel like I'm spiraling again and I don't know what to do about it.

Sorry I just really needed to vent, and nobody seems to understand how serious the situation is. I really feel like I'm being pushed out of recovery and it sucks because I was bothering to try. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

 

[Makko]

What kind of crappy insurance do you have?

 

[timf]

If only 10% of therapists are good, you might have to go through nine more to find another good one. It might help if you have a local support group to visit and see if anyone could recommend one to try that your insurance can cover. This way you might be able to skip the trial and error method.

 

[whywere]

I KNOW 100% what you are saying in your post @k75. I am in the U.S. and I can NOT find a new anything for mental health . either my insurance is not taken or the deductible is so much I can not afford it. My heart truly goes out to you, as when I read your post I started to cry, yes I wear my heart on my sleeve, because of what I am going through and to have a fellow global family member in the same predicament just makes me so upset. I send you lots of hugs, love, understanding and SUPPORT. We are ALL in this TOGETHER as ONE FAMILY! Walter (yep real first name, never phony)

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh, my friend! I can relate so much to what you're saying.

Most therapists suck but when you find one which looks helpful, your goddamn health insurance ruins everything.

My ex psych and therapist sucked but they literally DUMPED ME, in the middle of my treatment, because they were forced to do some more paperwork because of my insurance new policies. They just didn't want to deal with that so they said "Let's just get rid of this guy" and they did!

Now, fortunately, I'm not seeing any therapists and I found a new cool psych who gave me meds that are working and doesn't ask my pro-life BS.

Still, I think it's really good you're seeking help. Don't give up! We gotta try out all of the options before ctb.

Hope you can feel better soon and have better luck!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[k75]

What kind of crappy insurance do you have?

I'm on disability, so I was forced on Medicare. That seems to be the hurdle. Nobody wants to work with the program I'm on. I have a secondary insurance, but it's being flagged along with my primary insurance suddenly, so they aren't taking either. Something changed in the last year because this was not always the case.

The other thing I'm running into a lot is if they do take my insurance, they're completely full and are not accepting new patients for the foreseeable future.

For some backstory, I'm in the US and I'm in the process of firing therapist number... 14, I think? The problem with me is I'm a bit of a complicated case and places that I've been going to are basically the equivalent of McDonald's for therapy. You know, shitty high turnover therapists that don't care about their job and don't like where they work, state-run clinics and things like that. I finally figured out that I need someone more specialized, which means branching out into private practices and stuff, and that's where it gets tricky with the insurance because they don't have to see you if they don't want to and they're a little bit of a higher class of treatment.

I just don't know. I've exhausted all my options at the counseling place I go to now. No one has enough experience in what I need to really help me. Each session just kind of boils down to talking about my day over and over and over and there there's never any help. CBT doesn't work, and that's what pretty much everyone is trained in. And the two therapists I had before this one were fresh out of school and very unprepared for someone like me.

I'm just so discouraged. It seems wrong that I'm actually willing to participate in therapy and do the work and I can't get the help I need. I've had the feeling for a few years now that there was no fixing me, and I've been pretty sure I was going to kill myself, but I still don't like being proven right. I don't want to give up if I don't have to, but I can't stand feeling like this constantly. And I don't know how long I'm going to be able to hold out anymore. So I just really wish I could resolve this and at least see if my last idea works.

@WornOutLife, @whywere I'm so sorry you're also struggling with this sort of thing. I hope we can all find something that works.

 

[whywere]

I'm on disability, so I was forced on Medicare. That seems to be the hurdle. Nobody wants to work with the program I'm on. I have a secondary insurance, but it's being flagged along with my primary insurance suddenly, so they aren't taking either. Something changed in the last year because this was not always the case.

The other thing I'm running into a lot is if they do take my insurance, they're completely full and are not accepting new patients for the foreseeable future.

For some backstory, I'm in the US and I'm in the process of firing therapist number... 14, I think? The problem with me is I'm a bit of a complicated case and places that I've been going to are basically the equivalent of McDonald's for therapy. You know, shitty high turnover therapists that don't care about their job and don't like where they work, state-run clinics and things like that. I finally figured out that I need someone more specialized, which means branching out into private practices and stuff, and that's where it gets tricky with the insurance because they don't have to see you if they don't want to and they're a little bit of a higher class of treatment.

I just don't know. I've exhausted all my options at the counseling place I go to now. No one has enough experience in what I need to really help me. Each session just kind of boils down to talking about my day over and over and over and there there's never any help. CBT doesn't work, and that's what pretty much everyone is trained in. And the two therapists I had before this one were fresh out of school and very unprepared for someone like me.

I'm just so discouraged. It seems wrong that I'm actually willing to participate in therapy and do the work and I can't get the help I need. I've had the feeling for a few years now that there was no fixing me, and I've been pretty sure I was going to kill myself, but I still don't like being proven right. I don't want to give up if I don't have to, but I can't stand feeling like this constantly. And I don't know how long I'm going to be able to hold out anymore. So I just really wish I could resolve this and at least see if my last idea works.

@WornOutLife, @whywere I'm so sorry you're also struggling with this sort of thing. I hope we can all find something that works.

I am in Minnesota in the U.S., and I also am on Medicare. I totally agree with you as far as Medicare is a NIGHTMARE!! That is THE problem with Medicare, as a person DOES NOT have to take it and one is then forced into a much narrower pool of providers. My pain clinic aspect was the same, as I went through a bunch of different ones who were YIKES! to say the least and others who would not take Medicare till I found a saint of a pain doctor after YEARS of looking. I 100 % CRIED when I read your post as gee that is also me! I TRULY send YOU all the LOVE, HUGS and SUPPORT that I have as we are 1 FAMILY here. Please feel free to pm me if you want to. Walter

 

[Tegan_sky]

I'm on disability and only have Medicare, no secondary insurance. You're right about all this frustration, and whoever mentioned that many therapists give the level of therapy as a McDonald's. (I'm paraphrasing). I have a good shrink now but I had to sign a contract with him that I won't bill back Medicare because somehow that causes him problems. My understanding is Medicare does not cover MFCC's but it does cover psychologists and licensed social workers. My big problem is now that most social workers, psychiatrists, and MFCC's now have pictures with their online info, they're way too young to have real experience with people who have had mental issues lifelong. Many offer up useless froth as "Therapy" then want $150.00 and more, an hour. I'm making do with my good shrink even though expensive, I see him once a month and try to let that be enough. He does let me call him between appointments and I don't abuse it.

I wish I knew what to advise, but I'm in the US with Medicare, and I'm in the same boat.

 

[k75]

I hate that so many of us are in the same boat here. At the same time, it makes me not feel so alone. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read and reply.

I just really needed to vent before I did what I usually do, which is just bottle it up until I break. Because that's exactly what landed me in therapy to begin with.

@Tegan_sky That's the same price I was quoted for the good therapist who couldn't see me. And because I go once a week, that just wasn't possible.

My current therapist is older has been doing it for a long time, but she's just really not helping. She talks about her own problems a lot and overshares and constantly makes assumptions about me even though I correct her on those things all the time. I'm required to stay in therapy, so I'm just kind of stuck.

I used to have an excellent one, but ultimately we reached a point where we both had to admit that I needed more than she was qualified to give. That was really hard.

I keep trying to tell myself that maybe this is just an opportunity to find just the right person, but that kind of optimism is really alien to me and I can't actually believe it. I think if I do find the right person it could help me a lot, but I'm really just ready to give up and wish I could stop seeing people all together.

 

[whywere]

I'm on disability and only have Medicare, no secondary insurance. You're right about all this frustration, and whoever mentioned that many therapists give the level of therapy as a McDonald's. (I'm paraphrasing). I have a good shrink now but I had to sign a contract with him that I won't bill back Medicare because somehow that causes him problems. My understanding is Medicare does not cover MFCC's but it does cover psychologists and licensed social workers. My big problem is now that most social workers, psychiatrists, and MFCC's now have pictures with their online info, they're way too young to have real experience with people who have had mental issues lifelong. Many offer up useless froth as "Therapy" then want $150.00 and more, an hour. I'm making do with my good shrink even though expensive, I see him once a month and try to let that be enough. He does let me call him between appointments and I don't abuse it.

I wish I knew what to advise, but I'm in the US with Medicare, and I'm in the same boat.

HI! I TOTALLY agree about Medicare. I turned 65 this year and went on Medicare. It is a NIGHTMARE, as so many will not take it, billing is messed up, my heart truly aches for you as I am in the same boat also. Sending you lots of hugs and smiles and a bright and sunny day! Walter